"Is that too tight? No? Okay, good. Just one more second... there. Good luck escaping now, m-muahahaa! ...-aahhh! ...-ahh."

She steps away, hesitant. I wiggle in my seat, making a show of "making myself comfortable" - it always seems to help assure Jos that she hasn't tied my hands too tight. Finally, apparently satisfied, she turns away from me and climbs back into the driver's seat.

"That foolish Owl will never find you this time! I've found the perfect spot for my new lair. The dungeon even has a sea view."

Once we get into the routine, Jos always gets into her comfortable flow. She's become really quite good at this part - the scheming, the drama, the rivalry. It's the kidnapping part that's always a bit of a struggle.

We drive in silence for most of the ride. I've been gagged, of course - or rather, "gagged," because the gag is just a bandana covering my mouth. Same one as last time, even. It smells like lavender. But we're doing so well this time, I don't want to trip Jos up. Besides, I know she likes to drive in silence, so that she can plot her next villainous escapades.

The drive can't be longer than 30 minutes, and I can tell when we're approaching our destination. No other buildings for miles around, and at first, even this place looks forgettable - just some abandoned, coastal warehouse. But beneath the facade of rusty girders and broken glass that make up the surroundings, I can make out signs of the actual lair hidden among the ruin: half of the warehouse has a fresh coat of paint (a lovely, deep burgundy), and a few windows are suspiciously clean and unbroken.

As my captor removes my bindings and bandana, I compliment her work: "Wow, Jos! The burgundy is so you, and that view is going to be lovely." "J- excuse me, the name is Banshee! And the colour is a dusty maroon, thank you very much. And why have we heard nothing from that useless Owlguy? He's always chittering at that radio of yours by now..."

Oh, here we go. I was trying to avoid this part, hoping she wouldn't notice. "Uh, yeah, Banshee, sorry... this visit may last a bit- er, rather, we may be waiting on my rescue. Owlguy is... defusing a bomb! In... Antarctica! Yeah, and it's a real slow one. May be a few days."

Of course I'm fibbing. Gerald is watching cartoons at home, and wanted to give us a few days to actually relax for once. And for Jos, "relaxing" means preparing traps for her nemesis, while I sip iced tea and watch the sunset.

"A bomb!? Curses, it must be that Dr. Filibuster again, testing that Instant Ice Age device of theirs. Ah, but that means I have time to prepare! What shall I... hmmm..."

"Yes, there will be time for planning, but you're forgetting a step. Don't we have a dungeon to get to, Josephine? Ah, I mean, Banshee?"

Jos' face briefly flashes red, but she quickly hides it (and the little smile that comes with it). "Yes, of course! The dungeon! That foolish Owl will regret leaving you to your own devices. Here, let me get those ropes off... and... ooh, you're going to love this place."

I don't want to get my hopes too high, but the last "dungeon" visit started with fondue and ended with Mario Kart. I think I owe "Owlguy" a favour.