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ruraljurorlibrarian t1_j8tcf7h wrote

kitchen

​

show me the

moon's belly

the bottom of her white skirt

crescent stretch marks

yellow light firefly

drive in movie

​

on the mountain immortal dogs run wild

watch out for curled tails bared teeth

each awake when tomatoes bloom

​

winter woods watch

shedding woolen wrappings of ice blanket

peaks shred revealing naked rock thigh

as spring lights the spark parting

powder snow leaving ash behind

each season a funeral procession

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Not_theScrumPolice t1_j99z0ll wrote

Hi ruraljurorlibrarian,

I really like the imagery of this piece. The words flow very nicely and create a sense of peace somehow, if that makes sense.

A little nitpick:

>each awake when tomatoes bloom

I found I lost my immersions with this sentence at the word 'tomatoes'. Might just be me missing it's meaning but for me, it broke the vibe of the poem.

My favorite sentence:

>each season a funeral procession

I find this sentence to be really powerful and an excellent ending to your poem.

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