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GoogleIsYourFrenemy t1_j9sn9du wrote

The walls of the castle shook and dust fell from the ceiling. The guard captain tried again "Sire, we need to get you out of here be-" but was once again silenced with a "Shhhhhh" from the king. The king was struggling to hear the recording crystal that was playing. He rewound it once again.

None of it made any sense. Nothing he'd seen yet would explain why dragons were sieging his castle. The recording started with the adventuring party skulking their way around some caves high in the Craven Mountains. They were searching ever nook and crevice. He was beginning to wish they hadn't finally found what they were looking for. They found a dragon cave.

It wasn't a very big cave. It wasn't a very big dragon. It was clear what the "quest" they were on: Slay A Dragon. The king groaned. Only idiots took that quest and the dragons got a free meal so nobody complain, especially not him because he had fewer idiots making trouble. And what trouble they had made.

He looked more closely at the dragon they had ambushed. He wasn't just small... he was kinda malformed. His scales were mottled brown and orange. The head seemed a little misshapen? Also what were those things the dragon was... organizing. Were those portraits? Portraits of women? Hey that looks like a portrait of his daughter. How? Why? He shook his head in confusion. And that's when the barbarian rushed in screaming. What an idiot.

The dragon spun around, the barbarian already anticipating this along with the dragons fiery breath and so had leaped into the air. Except the dragon hadn't breathed fire and really wasn't that fast so the barbarian had mistimed it and the tail by shear luck thwacked him into a wall. Blood went everywhere.

That's the point when the rest of the team rushed in but instead of finding a dragon on the offensive they found a sad pitiful dragon in the corner crying and trying to get blood off one of the portraits. A dragon on the offensive isn't that hard to kill oddly enough once on the ground. But a defensive dragon all turtled up? Yeah much harder to kill.

Poor thing was totally distraught too about killing someone and what did they do? They did the only reasonable thing. They stole his hoard. The recording ended.

Guess he'd better get caught up on what's going on outside. "Captain. Report." he commanded.

The captain stood to attention "Sire, the big orange dame set our outer wall is on fire. We are running low on arbalest ammunition. One of the juvenile browns collapse the east tower. I'm not sure how much longer we can hold out."

The king pondered and finally spoke "You've seen the crystal, would you say that dragon is similar in appearance to those outside?"

"Sire, they look very similar sir, except this dragon is a bit... runtier sir? Less majestic? Kinda I don't know. Just overall less?"

The kings eyes opened wide in horror and realization: "You know Edmund, the footman's boy, Down syndrome? You think dragons...? Any ideas for how to placate the parents of a Down syndrome dragon?"

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Tired-Siren-43vr t1_j9v7fin wrote

Love it! Representation and playing with people assumptions. Mama and Papa Dragon might negotiate for repayment of the dragon's horde and some adventurer heads (or at least names).

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GoogleIsYourFrenemy t1_j9wirdf wrote

The historians writing about the ascension of the young Princess Tiffany and the death of her immediately family have been able to clear up some details which weren't readily apparent at the time.

The portraits formerly in the possession of the dragon Chester Earthen Flame and now in the Treasury Museum of Draconic Hoards on the face of it were non-traditional hoard items. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Chester Earthen Flame, much beloved by his family, was cognitively challenged. They tried hard to shelter him from the slings and arrows of life but weren't always successful. He had unfortunately become aware of the relationship between princesses and dragons but only in the vaguest of terms. He became obsessed with their acquisition, but had no real notion of what one was.

The historian Princess Westal of Harpavia, sixth in line to the Harpy thrown, recounted a tale of Chester Earthen Flame told by his older brother during her captivity about how Chester had to be told repeatedly moose weren't princesses. He went on to tell how their parents had come up with idea of making the princess thing a collectable trading card game. They knew if he ever encountered a Princess Protection Squad it would be the end of him so they convinced him princesses where beautiful paintings of the daughters of monarchs. They even would seed the woods with one periodically and let him 'capture' the princess. They quickly became Chester's pride and joy and he would spend days with them. With the assault and theft he was inconsolable and took decades to fully recover.

While it is widely known that Princess Tiffany was taken hostage, rarely is it mentioned her subsequent ransom consisted of the royal portrait gallery.

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