It’s not easy, to be rude and slam a door shut. Especially when the man is so kindly and persistent, all but inviting himself into your apartment and attempting to teach you about the gospel.

You were beyond familiar, though , thanks to the roommate who was subletting the apartment. “Look, dude,” you sighed, turning to head up the hallway. “I’m tired of sending them off.”

“None of them are an actual angel,” Jesus’ voice meant the world to millions, maybe billions, and yet? Here you were, rolling your eyes in complete exasperation. “I’m not able to leave until one collects me again.”

“That feels pretty pointless to me,” you’d heard the story fifty times in the year since your moved in. The rent was so obnoxiously cheap to be in downtown and for a man who never left the apartment, Jesus had become a fantastic chef. “Like, can’t you just talk to God or something and do what you want?”

“He doesn’t listen to my prayers over someone else’s,” Jesus rolled his eyes this time. “Says I can’t expect miracles every time I come up short on freelance. Bad enough he lets me skirt paying taxes.”

“You’ve had a fucking millennia, dude,” You flopped onto his bed, uncaring if it was disrespectful. “You can’t be hurting for cash that bad.”

Jesus shook his head fondly before turning back to his computer. “Thanks for handling it. If my memory serves, it should be like another years before I get called to duty. So, no point in finishing your degree. May as well just fuck off,” He flinched as if his father could hear him — they both knew he could.

“Well, I can’t suddenly alert everyone to your impending second coming, two thousand years after it happened,” Your tone was dry but you still rummaged behind the pillowcase for the edibles Jesus kept on hand. “No, I’ll keep my studies up to date, thank you.”

“I’m putting in a good word for you,” Jesus promised as he glanced back then reached his hand over. You dropped one of the sugary treats in and reached for your water bottle before passing that to him as well. Promptly filled with the glistening, old world wine he always said would never come back due to global warming and pollution- well, there were worse ways to rent in LA.