I stutter a reply back "Um, I , uh, never heard of him". They are shocked by this and ask if they can come in. I look back behind the door and Jesus is still shaking his head. "Now isn't a good time" I reply, "maybe later". They are persistent and hand me pamphlets which I take simply to move this along to the point they leave; but they won't leave. The one on the right starts quoting scripture at me like I'm back in Vacation Bible School and I'm 11 years old and caught stealing communion wine and this is my penance. 1 Timothy 6.8-9. Proverbs 11.28. Luke 12.15.

Fucking hell, were these people antiwork subreddit mods or something? I keep nodding and say thanks but that I need to go. I start to close the door when the one on the left puts out his hand and grabs the door. "Sir, I don't think you understand. We need know if you have found our lord and savior, Jesus Christ". I stare back "I heard you the first time. I heard his bible verses. I can't help you. I'm not that religious. Take care". However, the one on the left doesn't remove his hand "That's not what I asked you". I push the door harder and he removes his hand and the door slams shut.

I shoot Jesus a look of "What the fuck was that about?" and he just stands there. The two guys at the door turn around and look at each other. They nod at each other when the one that was on the left grabs something out of his jacket and with a flick, produces a telescopic baton. "He's here" he says in a low voice. "Let them know".