That's nonsense.

You heard me; absolute nonsense.

Have you ever, even once, heard a story? Read a book, watched a film? Interacted with any form of media ever?

Heroes are always sacrificing the world to save the person they love. They always put the gun down when the girl is threatened, catch the pram rather than the criminal, hand themselves over instead of a minor character. Narrative convention gives them the victory anyway, but the choice is still made.

It's a consistent trope. It's so common that it's extremely boring. Heroes stop fighting to protect those they love, even when the down-stream consequences are terrible. And villains? Villains choke the woman they love for an imagined betrayal, turn their backs on their families in pursuit of profit, won't even save their own lives because the quest object is right there.

"The thing about loving a Hero is, they always have to put the world first. But a Villain? A villain would watch the world burn to save someone they love!"

It's not true. It's never been true. It's a greeting card sentiment for abusers, a red flag that when they hurt you, when you're left alone or with the blood running down your face, they'll tell everyone that it was for your own good. That they made the difficult, right choice.

And then they'll go on and hurt someone else, still convinced of their righteousness, still adamant that they're doing the right, the loving thing. They'll find someone else vulnerable, someone else who needs to be told how special they are.

Someone else who will nod along to the pretty sentiment just because they're grateful to be spoken to, someone else who will ignore the warning signs, the 'am I a hero or am I a villain?' of it all, the shifting back and forwards between personas, always - somehow, coincidentally - inhabiting the character that happens to benefit them.

They'll claim to be a villain, half-redeemed by love of you, after they've hurt you. Before they hurt, or when you're not there, they'll claim to be the hero, suffering under your irrationality, your neediness. It's not meaningful; their morality doesn't really shift. A hero would be the same inside and out, would love you whether you were there or not, would never tell you your pain is your fault.

It's true, of course, that real heroes don't wear shining armour, that there is a smothered spark of goodness inside even the blackest heart. Believe that, and - when you can - polish the armour, help fan the spark. But also, always watch for the other case, when the spark has no air to breathe, when some stains don't wash clean. A real hero would set you free, not wield your guilt as a weapon and force you to stay.

Be wary of those who tell you about their own shades of grey. No hero is perfect, but someone claiming to be an imperfect hero is rotten to the core. Many villains are redeemable, but the one still stoking the fire while asking for mercy isn't. Beware - most of all - those who tell you they are both, who tell you that anyone else would treat you worse, that their cruelty shows a deeper kindness.

It's not the hero who wears a thousand faces; why have that many masks if you're not afraid of the truth?