"Choose!' the voice of Satan boomed.

Flames licked the ceiling in forks around seven gates, the light revealing tunnels beyond to places I couldn't guess. Above each in crimson lettering was a title: pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. The display was so impressive I might have been drawn in by it, if not for my knack for detail. I noticed that tucked away between two of the gates was a small door, much like a door you'd find in a corporate office. On the front, written in a small font was the word "PRIDE."

Never the one to take the beaten path, I headed straight for that door and didn't look back. It didn't bother me that I barely fit through the frame, or that Satan had just offered me an eternal pleasure of my choice. No, I had to take that door because I had to be a rebel. A hipster. Different.

I landed in a cubicle farm. There was nothing at all special about it - rows of cubes with those fake cardboard separators between them. When I looked around, I saw no one, which was strange given that I heard people furiously typing. I could only imagine the reports being generated. There was also the faint smell of coffee, I couldn't have been alone.

I started walking, staring into each cube to find it empty. When I came to the end of the row I saw a stack of papers on the desk. I grabbed one.

"PRIDE" - People Rejecting Imminent Demonic Embrace

You're here because sin isn't for you. You wanted a better option for your eternal fate. Here at PRIDE, we're constantly fighting back against Satan and his evil schemes. We're small and dedicated, and together we can shut down the gates forever. It all begins with...

Information.

Satan's gates are successful because people actually believe that their lives inside will be an endless pleasure. The reality is it's 1% pleasure and 99% hell. In the greed gate, the recipient has endless wealth - for five minutes of an 80-year lifespan. They get to buy whatever they want, then they spend 80 years wishing they could buy anything at all. As you can guess, nobody chooses to buy food and spends 80 years hungry.

Your goal in PRIDE is to get the word out about Satan and his gates. You'll be sending emails, text messages, cold calls, and other media to get people to believe you six days a week. On the seventh day, you'll rest and enjoy life poolside here at the PRIDE complex. Sounds pretty good, right?

I put the paper down, my head full of thoughts. The moment I started to walk away Satan's voice boomed from above.

"Don't believe that trash. The door is called PRIDE because it's pride. You just believe you can beat me instead of other people, and in truth, you probably believe you can beat other people too. So turn around, look for the red Exit sign, and come back. I'll take you through the real pride gate."

I considered what Satan said. He was right - I did believe I could beat other people. Maybe, deep down I believed I could beat Satan too.

"I need time to think," I said aloud.

"Don't. believe. the. lies." Satan said. "Life beyond the pride gate is wondrous to behold. You will be the best at everything and better than everyone. Nobody shall question you. Consider that versus a boring life in that office that produces nothing but lies and drivel. The pool party is lame too, there isn't even alcohol. You'll be enjoying watered-down lemonade and airplane-quality pretzels."

That sounded dreadful. I wondered if I could just try the other gate, see what was beyond it, then come back to this one. I didn't trust Satan to answer me honestly. If only I could find another soul in here, the person behind the typing, someone real to talk to. Why was Satan the only one speaking to me?

That's when I figured out it had to be a test of some kind. There could only be a few legitimate reasons why I couldn't see anyone and Satan could still talk to me, and one of those is that I hadn't quite made it to PRIDE yet.

I plunged forward. "No, Satan. I choose PRIDE."

"But, really, you should reconsider. Look how very lonely it is there."

"I don't believe it! Away with you!"

That's when Satan faded away and the angels appeared. One of them came up to greet me.

"Welcome. Few find us, and fewer pass the test. We're off the beaten path because what's right isn't usually popular, and only those who can see beyond the shimmer of how things appear can truly know us."

"Welcome to heaven," he extended his hand.

r/StoriesToThinkAbout