I freeze, not knowing what to say.

See, you are only good as long as you find appropriate jobs for Gods. Our family business have been thriving because my ancestors made some very wise decisions.

Like the time my great-great-grandma gave Odin the job of Santa, and gave Chernobog the job of Krampus.

Or when my Grandpa gave Ares the job of the German Chancellor in 1933.

However, the cost of messing up is very high. We nearly went out of business when my great-great-great-great-great-granduncle (is that even a word?) gave Dionysus the job of the French King. The resulting revolution threw Europe in disarray and completely destroyed our credibility for the next 50 years.

It is for this reason I dread Loki.

Dude has been a failure at every single job we found him in the last 200 years.

My father found him a job in real estate. He failed, spectacularly. Where most people fail once, he failed so many times that it boggles my mind.

We sit and discuss. As always, Loki is unwilling to hear anything I have to say. He always thinks he knows best.

Out of frustration, I suggest reality TV. His histrionics will be right at place there.

To my surprise, Loki agrees. He gets up and leaves.

I heave a sigh of relief. I am just glad to be rid of his obnoxious presence.

I was getting ready to go to my son’s ball game when I see Loki at the door again.

It’s been 10 years since that fateful meeting. Last I heard his show was doing well.

Predictably, Loki ended up failing again. He tells me his show is getting canceled.

I am taken aback but not really surprised. I call my wife, letting her know I’ll be late, then sit down for an unpleasant, unpleasant conversation with Loki.

We do the dance where I try to make him see reason and he discards whatever he say.

Finally, in a moment of weakness and frustration, I scream out: “What DO you want? To be the president?”

Ironically, this seems to appeal to him. Loki gets up and leaves.

As he leaves, the reality of what just happened dawns on me. This will be worse than the French revolution!! My family will never survive this!

I shudder.

It has been a year, and I do not know what to say.

Loki, the failed God, the failed real estate guy, the failed reality tv star is having a stellar campaign for the presidency!!

He says the most outrageous things, which should normally make him a parriah, but the audience laps it up!!

Sometimes, he says things just in jest, or to see how much he can lie and get away with, and his audience still keeps cheering!!

I don’t even know what’s happening.

Tomorrow is Loki’s inauguration. He won the election when no thought he will! Looks like he is our next president!

I shudder to think what President Loki would do.

Personally, I can’t complain though. Even since the election results came out, our business number has been ringing non-stop.