Trying on shoes at the store without socks, sneezing without covering during flu season, serial ghosting on tinder, refusing to tip when service is good, your search history, cheating on a pretest just to look smart, asking out your ex’s parent, skipping the episodes of the show “Friends” that had black people in them, eating from the fridge of a host that told you not to open, fetishization of the pope, your pronunciation of the word “beguiled”, calling salad “lettuce with deluxe toppings”, driving terribly with a sticker for a good cause on your car, claiming you donate to charity when you do not, attempting to stick your tongue in your nose, bringing flash photography to an epileptic support group to “see them react”, telling jokes without finishing them, shaving your pubic hair to resemble hitler’s mustache, submitting a staged video to AFV, writing depressing Arthur fan fics, leaving reviews for things you did not purchase, showing sympathy for ticket master, reading the terms and conditions of an online forum to twelve or more people without their consent, cannibalism, removing the batteries from a television remote at a senior citizen home, betting on janitor fights, participating in a circlejerk of a community you do not like, having more than 20 reddit accounts, using an online support group for epilepsy as a dating service, telling kids it is okay to stare at the sun, using playing cards to pick your teeth, harassment of geese, what you did at the cemetery, advocating for a lower age of consent, wearing blue with brown, calling Arthur a furry, and impersonating me.