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Baurusdavinci t1_itp8rvn wrote

I like the direction! Thanks for taking my prompt.

If you don’t mind some advice; details are important, but something I’ve noticed my favorite authors do is know when to let someone “read-between-the-lines” and not be too detailed on some things. For example, instead of something as unnaturally as saying “a 1km radius”, maybe instead indicate to the reader something obviously catastrophic will happen as indicated by the scientist‘s response. Let the reader imagine a bit.

For someone as volatile as Atom, I’d imagine more caution from those interacting with them. Waking up in a situation like this is unimaginable. For how catastrophic my reaction can be, I don’t believe a scientist would be as careless to tempt triggering me immediately after an event or to tell me this pain will last forever.

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ChloeWrites OP t1_itp92w3 wrote

I'll be taking your feedback, modifying the intiial response, and add another part or a few more, after I've slept. Ty for the criticism :)

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Baurusdavinci t1_itp9r6o wrote

You’re absolutely welcome! Thanks for taking the critique :)

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ChloeWrites OP t1_ity7oq1 wrote

Heyo, modified based on your recommendations, thoughts on the update?

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Baurusdavinci t1_ityea4c wrote

I like that a lot! Great job, I really love how you ended the prompt!

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