BlueOrangeMorality t1_ix0pp4p wrote
Reply to comment by InkDiamond in [WP] Robin Hood and his merry men finally succeed in overthrowing King John. They find actually governing the Kingdom to be much harder than they bargained for. by AccessTheMainframe
Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback, that's good stuff.
To be honest, I don't know how they would have actually spoken, how their cadence and scansion would sound translated to modern english--it's been a few decades since I read anything like the Canterbury Tales, or other stuff from that literary era. I was mostly hoping flowery eloquence would stand in for historical accuracy. If anyone feels like britpicking for middle english, I'll happily make appropriate changes.
As for the show-don't-tell: That's a good point. I think the problem I have is that I was raised in a place where that sort of rhetoric is common; if it is not specifically called out and examined, it would pass unremarked by too many. People around me see it as too 'normal' for them to notice the showing, so I'm now in the habit of heavy-handed telling--yelling, even--when dealing with various -isms. You're correct, it negatively affects my writing style. I'll edit it.
One counterpoint, though: Robin Hood does not have control over the situation. He thinks he does, and it is that which proves to be the tragic flaw which doomed him and the people he cares about. The betrayal had already happened; the baron's armies attacked the livery of Robin's company on sight. The Merry Men were never leaving London alive.
InkDiamond t1_ix0sgco wrote
> it negatively affects my writing style
That might be a little harsh! It's definitely a case-by-case thing. And I'm not even close to an expert, so that's another thing
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