“No man shall ever love you!” said the witch.

“Oh my God, thank you!” the woman replied.

The witch shot her a confused look.

“Oh, you think you’ll be safe because you’re lesbian? Well, for your information, “man” is also a gender neutral term. So any and all humans across the realm are affected by my spell.”

“Aren’t there other species of humanoids, actually?” asked the woman.

“Doesn’t matter! My curse affects all sentient civilizations that walk on two feet.”

“How about-“

“Swim in the sea, burrow through the earth, soar into the sky, etc, etc.” the witch finished.

“I’m asexual, by the way.” chirped the woman.

The witch glared at her with burning rage. Never had a mortal shrugged off her curses so nonchalantly.

Determined to win, she said, “And my curse prevents all forms of love, Romantic, sexual, platonic, you name it. No one will ever show affection towards you again!”

The woman smiled.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m a misanthropic monarch who cares only about appearances and not about friendship.” said the Evil Queen. “You should have just turned me into a frog and be done with it.”

"Uhhhhh... what?"

As confused murmurs went up through the crowd that had assembled for the announcement of Princess Terpsichore's engagement, Terpsichore herself practically leapt off of the podium and pulled me into a bear hug. As she squeezed the life out of me, she said, "All my life I've known I love women, but my parents would've never approved if they knew! But thanks to you, I don't have to go through with the wedding and--oh my gosh, I just realized how cute you are! What's your name?"

My blush overtook most of my face as I attempted to ignore the fact that Terpsichore's chest was pressed against mine to say, "R-Ruby. My name is Ruby. Do you really think I'm...cute?"

"Of course I do! Look at yourself, you're positively scrumptious! You're like a big cupcake covered in a pitch black chocolate frosting!"

I pulled my hat down over my eyes to (unsuccessfully) hide just how flustered Terpsichore was making me. Terpsichore promptly pushed my hat back up and remarked, "Hey, don't do that! I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours over tea! Speaking of which, do you want to have afternoon tea with me?"

I nodded happily and said, "Yes I do!"

Terpsichore squeaked with delight and lifted me into a bridal carry. As she ran off for our date, she called out to her parents, "Bye mother! Bye father! I'm running away from home!"

And that's the story of how I met my wife.

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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