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Restser t1_iyaai4a wrote

Hey Katpoker666. Succinct and lyrical. You paint a picture of loss without ever saying the words.

To nitpick for a moment, "my duvet" might work. The following sounds episodic even though the MC might think this way:

>Lacing on my running shoes, I bolt outside into the chill November air. I race down the cobbled streets.

To reduce the depence on "I":

>I lace my running shoes then bolt down cobbled streets in chill November air.

The chill November air can only be outside.

You've written a deceptively deep piece. It is a joy to read. Cheers.

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