Submitted by AliciaWrites t3_z3t7vl in WritingPrompts
Restser t1_iyaai4a wrote
Reply to comment by katpoker666 in [TT] Theme Thursday - Jubilant by AliciaWrites
Hey Katpoker666. Succinct and lyrical. You paint a picture of loss without ever saying the words.
To nitpick for a moment, "my duvet" might work. The following sounds episodic even though the MC might think this way:
>Lacing on my running shoes, I bolt outside into the chill November air. I race down the cobbled streets.
To reduce the depence on "I":
>I lace my running shoes then bolt down cobbled streets in chill November air.
The chill November air can only be outside.
You've written a deceptively deep piece. It is a joy to read. Cheers.
katpoker666 t1_iyadfw8 wrote
Thanks so much, Restser!
Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments