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FearMeImmortals t1_iy5kj2i wrote

YTA.

While you're right to want tradition, it's selfish to expect others to blindly follow them.

What if they have a tradition you don't like? Your fiancé could have a tradition that, as a vampire or as a person, you don't want to do. Would you be disrespecting her tradition or simply setting boundaries?

You should've also discussed this early in the engagement. "Just found out" implies that she didnt even find out from you. You say you follow tradition, yet don't tell your fiancé the tradition. Now this is just an assumption, but from your wording it seems likely. Imagine how that makes her feel.

Now also imagine if she had asked you to cure your vampirism because it's her family tradition. You would probably say no, and for good reason. You are happy with your vampirism and you should be, no one should take that away from you unless you are more than willing to. It's the same situation with her - she seems to love you, but doesn't want to give up her humanity.

Honestly, the answer is so simple, it's embarrassing you even had to ask. Do better, OP.

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Crystal1501 OP t1_iy5m86y wrote

I did give her a book about vampiric traditions, but it appears she didn't read it or something? I will take responsibility for not making sure she knew.

She does have a few traditions that make me uncomfortable, including serving garlic during special meals, but I have done my best to participate. Frankly, if a tradition such as what you suggested exists, I'd wonder what she really thought about vampires...

Though saying that, I see how my tradition may imply how I feel about humans. I really don't want to lose her over this... I guess I should sit down and talk with her.

Thank you for the insight!

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Gaia0416 t1_iy6ann9 wrote

You knew her family was Italian going into the relationship. Her mother's garlic knots are legendary. You want literal blood letting at the wedding supper, but no garlic knots? Who's disrespecting tradition more?

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Yuuwaho t1_iy7gddo wrote

Could there be a chance her family is catholic then? I’m not too sure of the current policy in regards to vampires, but I feel as though most Catholics traditions would conflict with most vampiric traditions.

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Nervous_Explorer_898 t1_iy6oqvk wrote

Info: You say you gave her a book. You don't mean the abridged version of The Vampire Tomes? Understandable considering the entire collection would take several mortal lifetimes to read, but alas, the abridged merely glances over the marriage ritual in its entirety and gives a vague and rather confusing description of the wedding night. If this is the case, I vote NAH. On that note, you would be better off giving your beloved Prudence Von Oppenheimlich's "So I've Married A Vampire, Now Vat?" It gives all the pertinent information and is much easier for a modern audience to read.

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FearMeImmortals t1_iy5odoi wrote

Good job on seeing your mistake, OP. It sounds like you guys have something special, glad you're willing to talk it out. Good luck!

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