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wannawritesometimes t1_ixmff3e wrote

My lungs gasp for breath. Even with the ambu bag forcing air into my mouth, it's not enough. The pain in my chest builds, and I know it won't be long now. Sirens wail overhead. Darkness begins closing in, bringing my vision to a tiny pinprick of light, until even that disappears. Sensations and sounds follow soon after, leaving me in a dark, barren, silent void.

Surprisingly, all the negative emotions I'd been holding at the end – fear, doubt, regret, pain – vanish. Nothing remains now except an overpowering sense of peace. I wait there for a few moments in the pitch black nothingness before I realize something especially odd: I still am. I no longer have a physical body, but I'm somehow still me. Weird.

I wonder what this place–

The demo has ended. Subscription required for entry into the afterlife.

The words pop up in bold, white text against the black backdrop. I would have jumped at their sudden appearance if I'd still had a body to do so.

What the... They need some kind of–

FAQ

The original text is abruptly replaced with the simple string of letters.

Okay then. Cool. Um... What is the–

What is the afterlife like?

The afterlife is a place of peace and contentment for those who choose it. This place goes by many names, such as paradise, heaven, or nirvana.

Oh. Are any of my fam–

Are my deceased family and friends in the afterlife?

Yes and no. Some have paid for the afterlife subscription. Others have not. As mentioned in our privacy policy, we cannot give specific names of those in the afterlife.

There's a privacy po–

Privacy Policy

Our privacy policy was last updated at the time of the beginning of the universe.

1. Afterlife Services...

Yeah, okay. That was rhetorical. So, what's the cost of–

What does the afterlife subscription cost?

An afterlife subscription is paid with a currency called 'Karma'. Karma is...

Wait, Karma? Like the–

Afterlife Karma is not in any way affiliated with the digital point system of 'karma' on certain websites within the physical realm.

Right, sorry. Makes sense. Anyway, what were you saying about the cost–

What does the afterlife subscription cost?

An afterlife subscription is paid with a currency called 'Karma'. Karma is earned via positive choices while one is experiencing physical life on one's planet. Similarly, Karma is lost via negative choices. Upon completion of a physical life, the sum total of one's Karma is calculated. Those who have a positive balance are given a choice of spending that balance toward an afterlife subscription.

Remembering the feeling of gulping, I form my next question. What if you don't–

What are the alternatives to an afterlife subscription?

A place of eternal punishment does not exist. Anyone with a negative balance is given an additional helping of empathy. Then, the user must reincarnate and try again. The user will continue this process until their total positive Karma is at least 50% greater than the user's cumulative negative Karma for all past lives. This process ensures that each user must eventually make his or her physical realm a better place for everyone.

Anyone who has a positive Karma balance is allowed a choice:

1 – Reincarnate and experience physical life again. The Karma balance is retained and any gain or loss from subsequent physical lives will be included in later totals.

2 – Return the user's essence to the universe.

3 – Subscribe to the afterlife for whatever duration the user can afford. At the end of the subscription period, the user must choose from options 1 or 2.

Wow. Um... So what is my–

What's my score? How long would it grant me in the afterlife? And how does it compare to others?

The average score in the afterlife is 9,247 Karma. This would equate to 9.247 millennia.

Your score is 803 Karma.

Oh. That's all?

Correct.

If I still had shoulders, they would slump with disappointment. Okay, one last question before I choose. Can I request–

Requesting additional empathy.

Reincarnaters are allowed to request additional doses of empathy before reincarnation. There is no cost for this service.

That's what I want. I can do better this time. I know it.

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r/WannaWriteSometimes

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_foolishly OP t1_ixmgb4n wrote

applause this is better than I could have hoped for.

As an aside, I can't help but imagine how funny it would be if Reddit karma was the price of admission to heaven.

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wannawritesometimes t1_ixmi75y wrote

Thanks so much! :-D

lol, I honestly considered going that route of having Reddit karma being the currency there. It could've been a funny alternative to have someone go to that afterlife and find out they're just surrounded by karma farming bots!

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Deloptin t1_ixnvf0t wrote

I think replace heaven with hell and you'd be spot on, considering the average reddit user

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riles-s t1_ixnwi4k wrote

This is very clever. I really like how it seems the text is able to recognize thoughts rather than actual speech. That's something I had never thought of.

I also imagined this person retaining their physical body in this place, but I think their consciousness existing here instead is a very cool idea!

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