I was a terrible student.

Though academics and the thought of obtaining knowledge allured my curious mind to actually sit down and read a book was a skill I did not possess.

Why do that, when there were so many more interesting things to do? I could play with the cat or spin tales with my toys in the garden, I could play games with my friends or tease my father for getting old. I could just lounge in my bed and watch videos. If I felt really lazy, I could just sleep!

As the years progressed and my grades worsened I finally realized I needed to put in just a little more effort. But that was okay, I still had lots of time to have fun.

I had a lot of fun. No moment was especially dull. My parents often referred to me as blessing, because I was so good at keeping myself busy. It wasn't hard to- there was always something fun to do.

Then I got a little older. I had to start thinking about what to do with my future, something I had never given much thought. But it was alright, between my vague planning I spent hours talking to my friends online. ... My father passed away. But it was okay, I came to live with my partner, whose family graciously took me in. We never spent a moment apart.. Its easy to feel better when your love is there to keep you busy. ... Money is now getting tight. There's not enough to send us to university. I had a lot to think about, jobs and budgets and time. Time. Time.

...My exams are over. I have a months vacation. I have to look for a job in between, but I've got plenty of time. Now I can do something fun I open my laptop, excited to do something I want to do for once, and...

...I'm at a loss. The screen stares back . I remember back to what seemed only minutes ago, I remember the fun I had. The time.

I sit now at my desk and feel suddenly heavy. I rub my neck, trying to soothe my permanently aching shoulders.

A hard voice speaks to me, not entirely devoid of sympathy.

I have the time now, but

I forgot how to enjoy it.