"What the fuck, dad?"

"You heard me."

"It's out of my hands, son."

"Don't call me that."

"Why not? You called me 'dad'."

Lucifer sighed. "What's this about?"

Of course it was about the humans. Dad's pet project. But as father and son sat down to watch Earth from Above, Lucifer noticed small points of light leaving.

"They finally got the space program up again?"

God nodded. "Take a closer look, Luci."

The ships all had the same logo on them. A circle, flanked by two smaller circles above, like a simplistic rendering of a mouse. God gestured at another of his scrying mirrors. No new souls passing on from their mortal coils.

"You remember Walter Disney?"

"Of course," Lucifer shuddered. All the atrocities committed in his name.

"Turns out his corporation," God paused at the word. "Became quite busy some time after I went hands off. You were always more interested in mortal affairs. Did you notice anything in the past few centuries?"

Lucifer had to think. Aside from acquiring other major companies, Lucifer didn't really pay them much mind. Then he noticed the human standing there.

"Father, who is that?"

"Oh that's Bailey. So, uh, funny story. Disney apparently owns all of humanity now and they're not letting anyone die. Something about copyright law and Disney Deaths. My hands are tied, son, I can't do anything to bargain with them so I gave them Hell."

"You what?"