I grumble as I shuffle to the door

"ALRIGHT! I'm coming for goodness sake. "

The banging stops as whoever it is hears me yelling, and the door stills in its frame.

I yank the door open to find the boy standing there. Eyes red rimmed, like he's been crying. I look at his clothes. Not cheap, that's for sure.

"Ha! You! Found true love, did you? You little wart. Found some manners to go with it? Or are you here for revenge? It didn't go well for you last time, it won't this time either" I say with an aire of nonchalance, leaning on the door way, trying to make it not look like I'm scrambling maniacally on the shelf for the damned wand. Best land plans, and here I am, in the face of this snot, without the thing.

"Please. Help me!" The young lad cries as he bursts into a fresh round of tears.

I am extremely taken aback.

"Help you? Why? Whatever's the matter? Did you not find your true love? That spell should absolutely have worked. What happened?"

He falls into my arms, sobbing, clutching me.

"SHE'S HORRIBLE!" He wails.

I am genuinely astonished. This snot nosed little brat was an absolute horror, with not an ounce of decency or civility in him when I turned him into a frog. I didn't really think he'd find his true love. That wasn't part of the plan at all.

"Alright. Alright. Stop snivelling. Come in. Tell me what's happened. "

I try and haul him up and into the living room. He wipes at his face with the sleeves on those lovely clothes. I turn and snag the wand off the shelf and then guide him to sit on the sofa. I wait for him to gather himself, wondering what on earth is going on.

"I am sorry for what happened. Before. Last time. I mean, I know you probably don't believe me, but I really truly am. I was angry at first. For so long. Or at least, it felt like a long time. I guess time is different when you're a frog. "

He finally meets my eyes, and I give a sort of grim smile to show I understand and encourage him to carry on with a gesture

"Yeah. I was angry. But then, I wasn't. I was sad. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to come and apologise but everything looks so different when you're that small and I wasn't sure I remembered the direction and didn't want to dry out if I wandered away, so I just stayed there. Then when I was just swimming around one day, I saw the ball"

"The ball?" I query

"Yes. The golden ball. It just sort of sank past me, so I grabbed it and pushed it back to the surface. I was hoping to play with it or something, I don't know, but when I came up, she was standing there. Starting at me and the ball. She reached out to grab it and spoke to me. She was silly, really. She said, "Thank you, Mr Frog," so I just said, "You're welcome." Not really thinking. I hadn't been able to talk. I thought I'd just end up saying ribbit, but the words came out. "You're welcome," and she was so surprised that she dropped the ball again. So I swam back down and retrieved it a second time. This time, I pushed it right up to her. I realised then she must have been the one. She must have been my true love like the spell said!"

"Yes." I can't think of anything else to say. I didn't really expect that part to work if I was entirely honest.

He carried on, "so we talked, and I explained about the spell, and she kissed me and POOF! I'm suddenly back to being me, and she drags me off to tell her father, THE KING, BY THE WAY! about this new suitable suitor she's found in a pond, and suddenly I'm being measured for clothes by her mothers tailor and they contacted my parents to check who I was and now we have to get married in 6 months and her father absolutely hates me, and she keeps wittering on about nonsense and she's horrible to everyone except me and her father and she reminds me of me before, well, you, and I can't take it and she's not my true love. She can't be, and if she is, I don't want to be her true love. It's all too much. Please change me back!" He wails the last word as he bursts into tears again.

I sit back, pondering what to do.

"You need to bring her here," I say to him, a bit loudly so he hears me over the noise of his wailing. He stops and looks at me

"What? Why?"

"Because the spell isn't wrong. It never is. She really is your true love, but if she reminds you of you before your little adventure, then maybe she needs the same lesson?"

He takes a deep breath

"Do you think that would work?" He asks hopefully

"It worked for you, didn't it? Go back and ask her to go for a walk, or maybe even make it look like you're eloping together. Make it like an adventure. Bring her here. I'll turn you both and make the spell end when she's learned her lesson."

He looks at me for a long minute. Peering into my eyes, trying to make up his mind

"Ok. I'll go and get her"

He jumps up and runs out of the house.

I wait for a few minutes and then start to laugh. Once it starts, I can't stop it. I am cackling like the witch I am. I laugh until my sides hurt.

Oh, this was too wonderful. After all the potions and powders and nonsense I'd gone through to try and force a true love for the brat. The universe had stepped in.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll have a kingdom in my palm, along with the hearts of two royal brats. It's not the one I wanted, but it's a start.

I look at the skull of my beloved, which rests on top of the dresser, watching all I do.

"Soon, my love," I tell it. "Soon we shall have vengeance.