I went through it and I didn't recognize any grammar or tense issues. I find it's easier for me to notice that kind of thing in others' writing than in my own. Can you point them out for me.

I was worried while I was writing it whether the whole thing might come off as cliché but I guess that's not always a bad thing. As you said, you think it's well executed and I would agree that the manner of writing can sometimes be more important the substance.

As for the bear? I was thinking about putting more gags in involving it, but it was really late in the morning for me and I just wanted to post something.

All said and done I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and based on my upvote count so far, others are enjoying it too. This is a real confidence boost for me to continue working on my writing skills and putting more work out there.