Comments
soogland OP t1_j0qvjm4 wrote
Yeah i thought about this aswell, but its maybe a bit too extreme. How would you put it, if you where to remind the reader about it as much as possible, but without doing it like this :)
Extension_Painter999 t1_j0qxbcv wrote
You could try mentioning it constantly and breaking up the dialogue in a different manner perhaps? i.e:
"Could you please",shouted X as the cacophony of horns bellowed through the air, "get them"–the noise grew louder still,–"To shut up!" (at this point the sound was almost deafening), "I feel like I'm losing my mind, here".
(I'm currently lost for examples of onomatopoeic words that could describe car horns [other than "honk" and "beep"] which would obviously be a nice addition, but you could always make some up as well!)
It breaks up the dialogue in an infuriating manner (and becomes more infuriating the longer it goes on imo)
Extension_Painter999 t1_j0qzndd wrote
Also– if you really wanted to get creative with it, and you're writing in a book-style format, you could maybe try diverting the reader from the main text with footnotes, i.e–
"Could you please*get them** to shut up!‡ I feel like I'm losing my mind here!★"
*A cacophony of noise bellowed through the air
**The noise grew louder still
‡at this point the sound was almost deafening
★HOOOOOONNNNKKKK!!!
Although I'd also understand if you didn't want to do that. I personally think it partially recreates the feeling of being distracted by annoying things mid-sentence, but maybe that's just me?
Crystal1501 t1_j0qw6qd wrote
"So ho-" BEEP "how's everything go-" BEEP "going?" BEEP
"School's-" BEEP "great, getting go-" BEEP "good grades." BEEP
​
Otherwise, I got nothing.
EmotionalBrother2 t1_j0qxays wrote
You can even get a little creative with it.
"What was the password?"
"It's-" "BEEEEEEEP"
" WHAT?"
" 1528-" "BEEEEEEEP"
" OH I'VE GOT IT THANKS"
either implicating the reader is just a lisetener that wasn't close enough to hear the whole thing or just didn't hear it where the character did, or just that the character already knew the password and was acting like they didn't, for traitor stuff.
fac-ut-vivas-dude t1_j0r7ibq wrote
May I make a suggestion? I spent years in a high traffic area and car horns are rarely a constant din. The more you beep the higher your chances of pissing someone off to the point where they chase you with the shovel they keep in the back for emergencies. Surprisingly common
hogw33d t1_j0rbsrr wrote
This made me think of something: where it does tend to be mostly a constant din, have the din start annoying, then the character eventually acclimates to it to an extent. Then, for some reason, there's a break in the sound, and the character gets the sweet relief of silence, forgetting how nice that feels. Then as soon as they get used to peace and quiet--it starts up again.
fac-ut-vivas-dude t1_j0rv9ks wrote
This perfectly describes my first apartment, lol!
pokey1984 t1_j0r7ul6 wrote
Focus on showing the effect the noise and hassle is having on your characters. How do they feel, what are they doing? In what way is the traffic impeding their task. Maybe they peeled their fingers from the wheel one by one only to find their hands still ache from clenching it so hard. maybe they rest their head against the cool glass of the window for a moment to try and relieve the noise-induced headache only to flinch as the car right next to them honked.
This is in addition to the suggestions others have made. Although I'd advise against too much onomatopeia as it doesn't usually induce annoyance in the reader so much as make the story unreadable.
And don't forget plenty of paragraph breaks. Every time someone has to stop talking and start again, start a new paragraph. Too often writers try to keep all the speaking to a single paragraph until the speaker changes, but feel free to interrupt. It makes the dialogue flow better and shows the feeling of tedium the characters are feeling with being constantly interrupted.
If you can, find someplace noisy to hang out for a bit. Doesn't have to be traffic, just someplace loud and busy. Then imagine your characters there while you're hearing and feeling all the noise and bustle. make some notes about how that situation feels. You might also try to look up some traffic sounds on youtube or wherever and play them at a high volume while you write that scene to help set the mood.
jon11888 t1_j0qwhdq wrote
For me, traffic bothers me proportionally more depending on how much of a hurry I'm in. If I have no obligations to be somewhere on time, and I'm not in a particular hurry, it's easier to just put on some music or listen to an audiobook. Conversely, if I'm already late for work, and I need to finish an errand before I can even think about heading to work, and people are counting on me to be there on time, that's when the traffic really gets to me.
Not sure how much this will help you, but that's my experience of it. Unrelated, but I'm reminded of this particular scene that really captured the worst case scenario morning traffic in a humourous way https://youtu.be/C3jizSM6M0o
penelopeolivia3 t1_j0qy1v7 wrote
Repeat things you said and people will get so annoyed with you and stop listening to you eventhough their ears are there with you they are not going to hear you..
mcarterphoto t1_j0r79gb wrote
Not specific to traffic jams, but if you want to read some work that puts you in the head of someone who's stressed and overwhelmed, "Operation Wandering Soul" by the great Richard Powers is amazing. A beautiful book, but oppressive. Martin Amis' "The Information" also really puts you in a distressed person's head, but it's a bit more satirical than Powers' work.
I don't think this sort of thing can be answered by tips specific to a situation, it's more studying how good writing sucks us into an imagined psyche. Everyone's annoyed by car horns and traffic jams, but the specific reasons and ways your character is annoyed should teach us something about the character or build up things we're learning about his/her emotional state.
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Crystal1501 t1_j0qtw7z wrote
Repetition and cut-off sentences bug EVERYONE if done in excess.
"Can yo-"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP
"Ju-"
BEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEP
Normally bad for storytelling, but you're actively TRYING to annoy the reader, so...