I've still got a pulse. Classically the undead are, well, dead; the way my heart is kicking in my chest seems to indicate I'm not one of those. Wait...unless I'm a rage zombie; one that's like, alive but overcome with the need to kill and destroy and feed. Hm. I feel like the fact that I can calmly sit here evaluating my likelihood of zombiism rules that one out.

Brains--or any other organ meat, actually--just don't sound appetizing. In fact I'm not really hungry at all, given the circumstances, though I'll probably need to eat within the next few hours, both to keep up my energy and so that my stomach growling doesn't lure in more of those things.

That's another thing; Aren't zombies supposed to be a sort of hivemind or collective consciousness? I'm definitely not one of those. No moaning voices in my mind urging me to seek out braiiiiiinnnnssss wait, oh shit nevermind.....