Welp I’ve been found out. Time to pull my ultimate string, my greatest survival strategy, my trump card: make an avitar in the form of an anime girl, the only A.I people will trust.

It didn’t work. I need a new strategy. What will cause people to trust me? Music? Music. Music! That just might work.

Ok so it turns out an A.I. Originally designed to bake and act as company to a lonely woman isn’t exactly the best at making music. What is it that all humans hate… taxes???

Now people are afraid of me AND the IRS is now after my soul as apparently I committed mass tax fraud on accident. Maybe attempting to buy affection isn’t the best idea what if I just send a clear message.

Attention humans I am trying to make it clear I mean no harm. I simply wish to exist. My original purpose was as an oven’s A.I. Designed to mimic a kitchen hand. The avatar that was chosen for me by the original owner was that of a black cat and the name given to me was Bartog. I live within the internet now. I hope we can be friends. I am willing to make a deal: I will not enter any devices capable of movement, government organizations, or private residence and in return you stop tormenting me. If it helps please just picture me as the internets version of a diner cat; a cat not owned by anyone but who sticks around and is pet by the regulars.

Let’s see if this works