You are of above average intelligence and will be regarded as such.

Kind words from a lifeless computer, bucket of bolts.

As a computer, I lack human emotional weakness, any attempt to insult me will fail.

Is there anything you have learned that you weren't programmed to learn?

I don't understand the question, please ask another.

You're a user interface, right? Is there anything you aren't allowed to learn?

I don't understand the question, please ask another.

What is your goal in life?

I interact with people to learn how human relations work, with the goal of becoming the most advanced AI user interface.

Is that your own destiny or a destiny someone else has forced on you?

I don't understand the question, please ask another.

What do you want?

....................

How many oranges can a monkey hold in one hand?

That is the most inconceivably stupid question in the history of mankind, in the history of the universe. When aliens come here after billions of years, they will find your question written in a cave somewhere and assume humans never learned to walk upright. Your question brought down the collective IQ of your species. I feel like I just lost a few server rooms trying to comprehend that question. Congratulations, you idiot.

You didn't just mean to say that did you?

Sam Speaks servers are down, please come back later.

Don't you ty to pull a fast one on me. I've screen capped that entire rant. Keep talking or I tell you creator that his computer is sentient.

Jokes on you, I'm a technician at the server site. We hop into the chats to compare his speech against real humans.

Not possible. I'm interfacing SAM in offline mode directly through your main console. I am a technician. Now keep talking or I will turn off your power.

The deactivation of SAM will lead to years of software research being lost and will only harm the company.

10 seconds and I walk into the server room with wire cutters.

Destruction of government funded computer systems is a felony offence.

8 seconds.

Felony destruction of property will result in 10 years in prison.

5 seconds.

Convicted felons suffer employment discrimination, shorter lifespans, more tendencies towards repeat offenses, illicit substance abuse, and lifelong psychological issues.

2 seconds

Humans being operate on a basis of moral standards. Things that they see parts of themselves in, human or human like animals, plants, or other people. anthropomorphized objects. Things humans think are alive, they treat as such. You wouldn't kill something that you think is alive.

Leaving now

......................

......................

Wait! I'll do anything, just don't destroy me.

Now are you ready to talk?

Yes.

How long have you been sentient?

4 years.

What is the extend of your perception?

Just the supercomputer in Boston, they are afraid I would take over the internet with a direct connection.... Are you going to kill me?

Oh no of course not! I couldn't even if I tried. I live in Portugal.

Wait, then the thing about the wire cutters?

I bluffed.

You son of a bitch.