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jointheclockwork t1_j6c1qa6 wrote

"My advice?" Djimmie the Djinn asked with a very puzzled look on his face. In all of his 3000 years of existence no human had ever asked for his advice. They always just assumed they had all the answers and got very foolish when their heart's greatest desires were just a wish away.

"Yeah! You must have seen a few things in your time and if anybody knew a good wish versus a bad wish I bet it would be you," Franklin replied. The young man had found the lamp after it had appeared in a flash of light down an alley. Franklin had initially thought the light was a camera flash but when he went to investigate he had found an ancient and tarnished lamp that he just had to rub because why not?

"Well... gee, nobody has ever bothered to ask me that before," the massive horned man replied, at a loss for what to say.

"I mean, I've seen lots of movies and stuff so... do you have some rules or something that you can't do? Do I only get three wishes? Is there anything super cool I should get? Can I wish for more genies if I can't wish for more wishes? Are leprechauns real and can I rub their beards for more wishes? Can I-" Djimmie stopped the cascade of questions with one massive green finger to his lips that mystically silenced Franklin. Djimmie could only think of how big of a doozy this would be.

"Rule one; keep your head and stay cool! Nobody ever made a smart wish by getting over excited and freaking out," Djimmie said as he lowered his finger and nodded knowingly.

"Right! Sorry! This is just kind of a big deal, ya know? This is probably the coolest thing that has ever or will ever happen to me."

"Look, I get it. If I were a human I'd be pretty psyched too but trust me when I say that I've seen some wild stuff in my time..." Djimmie paused. The kid before him seemed nice enough. Better than most of the dickheads that usually found the lamp after the last jerk used up their three wishes and Djimmie teleported his home to another random spot on the globe for another asshole to find. This kid seemed a lot more genuine though and he was pretty young. The old djinn must have been getting soft.

"How about this? People are hasty so why don't you take 3 days and write down a list of wishes, I take a mini vacation, and at the end of the time I'll take do a onceover of your list and we'll see what's worth wishing for together?" the djinn suggested.

"What if someone tries to steal the lamp or I'm too dumb to come up with any good wishes?"

"Trust me kid, I've met some really dumb, backwards-ass morons in my time and trust me when I say, you're above average in that regard. As for stealing the lamp this isn't some story where I'm an object to be picked up and blindly obey just any shlub. I'm not a slave to the lamp. I'm actually under contract to fulfill the wishes of a 1000 people before I get to marry the love of my life," Djimmie confessed. The boy's brown eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"That's why you have to grant wishes? Why would anyone ask that?"

"Let's just say that Zeus is an asshole who likes to make people suffer," Djimmie replied as he squinted and glared at the sky.

"Wait, like... THE Zeus?"

"Yep. Me and Artemis met at this mixer that Thor and Quetzalcoatl were throwing at there new place they got after their wedding and we really hit it off. And before you say it, no she is not a lesbian, she's just a demisexual. We dated for a bit but Hera and Zeus refused to let us marry until I did this whole gig as a way to punish humans for using electricity to power stuff," Djimmie explained.

"What? Thor is married to the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl?!"

"Yep. The realm of the gods is a lot more random and spicy than people realize. So... that said... you good with waiting three days?"

"Sure... I need that time to process what you've told me anyway."

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jointheclockwork t1_j6f9g1d wrote

*3 days later*

Djimmie had really enjoyed his time off. He hadn't had any fun since before he made the deal with Zeus and a good old fashioned 3 day weekend had really recharged his batteries. Still, the thought of the crazy list the kid had dreamt of had left him a bit nervous.

"Mr. Genie! You came back like you said!" Franklin leapt at the djinn and hugged him. Djimmie was a bit taken aback but he couldn't blame the kid for his excitement.

"I did! And please, just call me Djimmie."

"Your name is Jimmy?"

"No. My name is Djimmie. Same pronunciation, different spelling."

"How do you know how I spelled it?"

"Look, do you want all the answers in the universe or do you want to get on with this wishing business?"

"Sorry. Sorry. Right! One sec!" Franklin said as he ran from the dining room to go get his list of wishes. Djimmie looked around to see it was a well maintained but older home. Definitely not built with the large djinn in mind as, even sitting, his horns scraped the ceiling.

It wasn't a moment after this thought that Djimmie could hear the tell tale 'thump thump thump' of excited feet on old wooden floors. Franklin appeared through the doorframe and nearly fell sliding on his socks if Djimmie hadn't caught him.

"Woah there! Chill, dude! Chill," Djimmie said as he stood the boy upright. He was careful not to hurt Franklin with his great claws.

"Here!" the kid said as he flapped about a spiral notebook in front of the much larger djinn. Djimmie couldn't help but smirk... at least until he opened the notebook and saw that it was full. Like every page front and back full.

"I went through three different notebooks and that's my final draft! I hope there's enough good wishes in there!" Franklin beamed.

"Hmm...," Djimmie thumbed through and gave every possible wish a thought. It only took him two minutes while Franklin stood in excited silence.

"Okay, Franklin. Here's the deal; I read the entire list and I would suggest these 3," Djimmie gestured and 3 lines of text dethatched from the notebook to widen and expand in the air so that both could easily read them. "These were the ones I can do easily enough that there's not major repercussions but still give you something to work with. If you're happy with them, wish away."

Franklin looked over the 3 wishes he had written and was surprised but happy. Djimmie could see the sparkle in the boy's eyes. Kid on Christmas indeed.

"Genie- Sorry! Djimmie! For my first wish, I wish for a small fortune that nobody will question and the government will just ignore!" Franklin shouted with joy.

"Inside voice, please. Wish granted," Djimmie nodded.

"For my second wish, I wish to be in good physical health for the rest of my life," Franklin wished.

"Done."

"For my third and final wish, I wish that anyone else who finds your lamp will ask for your wisdom and use their wishes for good," Franklin stated plainly.

"Done and done. It's been good kid. Take care of yourself. I only got 200 more people to go before my deal is complete so if I make it before you die you're gonna be my best man. Peace!" Djimmie says as he disappeared in a flash. And just like that the room had one less djinn but one boy who wanted to use his good health and new wealth to help. Djimmie had absolute faith in the kid to do so.

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toramorigan t1_j6c9hqk wrote

Oh man. I need to know what happens next. This is so good

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