Submitted by AliciaWrites t3_10m0cja in WritingPrompts
AstroRide t1_j61vgid wrote
##Twenty Dollars
It was just twenty dollars.
Nobody else saw the man put it in the donation box. A receipt wasn't written. The daily total was going to happen in one hour.
Lindsay took the chance and grabbed the money.
This job was supposed to be about saving animals. Instead, it was about organizing giant parties for people to part with their money. Occasionally, someone jetted to a nature preserve and took tasteful pictures, but that was it. Nothing turned an optimist cynical faster than trying to help.
Britney was the worst of the bunch. Lindsay saw her new purse and watch. They cost more than a month's rent in Lindsay's crappy apartment. Other people whispered about it, and Britney had the same canned response when the gossip was undeniable. She was the boss; she deserved it for her hard work. Please. Her parents were the biggest donors. They got rich off of oil, and their daughter was trying to satisfy her guilty conscience.
If she really wanted to make the world better, she would raise Lindsay's salary. Altruism as its own reward was how suckers were captured. Her apartment lock didn't work, and she was always nervous about being robbed. Twenty dollars could get a new lock.
How can Lindsay be expected to perform if she was living in squalor. By being in a better mood, Lindsay would be able to expend more energy on helping the animals. It was the moral decision.
Just twenty more dollars
Britney said last week that the quarterly donations were slightly lower than expected. Lindsay almost told her to get her parents to make up the difference. Lindsay didn't even steal that much. It was only a little here and there. It wasn't Lindsay's fault that her glasses broke, and she needed new ones.
Hank sat next to her staring at his phone. Britney implemented the buddy system to be sure that nothing was stolen. She tried to avoid implying that it was her employees doing it, but Lindsay knew what Britney thought. The ungrateful, selfish pieces of trash that worked for her were ruining her good deed. They needed to learn proper morality from someone as sophisticated as Britney.
"I'm going to use the bathroom." Hank got up. Now was Lindsay's chance. She creeped slowly over to the box and opened it. A crisp twenty was sitting on top. She grabbed it to put it in her pocket.
"What are you doing?" Lindsay turned and saw Hank behind her.
"I can explain," Lindsay said. Hank moved beside her and took a twenty for himself.
"I need a new jacket. I won't tell if you won't tell," he said.
"Deal." She shut the door and sat down with Hank satisfied.
Why should she feel guilty? It was just forty dollars.
r/AstroRideWrites
sevenseassaurus t1_j679f4x wrote
Hiya astro!
I enjoy the blending of internal dialog and justification in with the narration; it really gets you into the main character's mind. So much of this story is...uncomfortably relatable, both realistic and a solid mirror to human psychology.
I noticed a couple tiny errors here; "get her parents to make up the different" in particular stuck out to me. As another small thing, the last two lines were particularly poignant and make for an excellent ending; I would rather see them on their own line for emphasis.
Great work, well-told. Keep writing!
AstroRide t1_j69mb10 wrote
Thank you for the critiques. I made the corrections. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.
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