"But your honor!" the litigant shouted.

"Mr. Crozbury!" The judge attempted to interject.

"That land is mine! I din't trespass!" Red-faced and haired Mr. Crozbury continued.

"SILENCE!" Finally Mr. Crozbury complied. "Good. I warned you already and I'll warn you again, sir that you are not to speak until I tell you. Do you understand?"

Mr. Crozbury nodded up and down.

The judge rolled his eyes. "You may answer my question with a yes or a no, for the record, Mr. Crozbury."

"Yes, your honor."

"Now. I was trying to tell you, before your interruption, that we are here today to determine whether your entry onto lands allegedly belonging to your neighbor Mr. Crump amounts to a violation of municipal ordinance such that the prosecution can assess a fine of no less than $25 and no more than $100 and an order of community service of up to forty hours. Do you understand the nature of the charges against you and the minimum and maximum penalties I can assess?"

"Yes, your honor."

"This proceeding will continue in a certain way, as has happened for over a thousand years hitherto and will likely continue for as long as there are courts and the rule of law. First the prosecution and Mr. Crump will speak, then you will have your turn, then the prosecution a chance for rebuttal."

"Yes, your honor."

"Good. Now, the Court being satisfied, the prosecution may proceed."

"OBJECTION!"

Another eyeroll. "Yes, Mr. Crozbury?"

"Mr. Crump is lying!"

"He hasn't even begun to put his testi-"

"I did not do nothing wrong! I was only there to pick some flowers!"

The prosecutor chimed into the fray, "Your honor, I believe the Defendant just admitted to the facts necessary to find him guilty by his last statement."

"Nuh-uh!" Mr. Crozbury responded.

"SILENCE!"

"No, I have to work, he's always had it in for me."

"If you continue, the Court will find you in contempt."

"Did you set this up beforehand? Are you and Mr. Crump friends? What do you know about the mafia? I object to this Court's jurisdiction! The prosecutor is biased, this is the wrong Court, I demand habeas corpus!"

"Bailiff, remove Mr. Crozbury. We will proceed without him, and I will address his behavior at the conclusion."

Mr. Crozbury received 20 days of community service and a $100 fine for the trespass charge.

Mr. Crozbury spent the night in jail and was ordered to pay $250 after being found in contempt of court and sanctioned.