The following letters were given to Ms. Evelyn Schwartz by her nine-year-old son, Jonah, on January 30th.

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January 18th

Dear Ms. Schwartz,

This letter is to let you know that Jonah has been misbehaving in class. Today while a fellow student was presenting our "recipe of the week", Jonah was not mature enough to handle the ingredient "grey poupon mustard". His giggling disrupted the class and was disrespectful to his fellow students, especially the presenter. Because this is his first offense, this is only a warning.

Please sign below to acknowledge the incident.

Respectfully,

Mrs. Fritz

There is a line at the bottom of this letter, upon which the name "Evelen" is signed in a third-grader's red-crayon scrawl.

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January 19th

Dear Ms. Schwartz,

I hope by now you've read yesterday's "misbehavior incident" letter. Today Jonah brought it back with an obviously fake signature, offering the excuse "maybe she forgot" when I asked why your name was misspelled. I am considering this a new incident. However, I am willing to give him a second chance to bring this letter home together with the original and get your *real* signature.

Please acknowledge when you have read both.

Respectfully,

Mrs. Fritz

At the bottom of this letter, "Evelyn" is signed in marginally-cleaner black ink.

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January 23rd

Dear Ms. Schwartz,

I honestly don't know why I am writing this letter considering you probably wont get to read it.

Your son, Jonah, had a minor misbehavior incident last week when he decided to have a giggle fit during a fellow student's presentation. I sent a letter home, and he returned it with a forged signature. I then sent a second letter, which he returned with a second forged signature. When confronted, Jonah told me that my efforts were "pretty cringe."

I am out of patience. This letter is to notify you that Jonah will be spending recess in the principal’s office this week.

Respectfully,

Mrs. Frtiz

The line at the bottom of this letter has been left empty.

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January 30th

Dear Willow Creek Elementary parents,

We are excited to announce that our much beloved "Lions, Tigers, and Bears" field trip is just around the corner. Please sign below to indicate your permission for your child to participate. The field trip will include a visit to the zoo (lunch will be provided), as well as a stop at a locally-owned ice cream shop on the way home.

The date of the trip will be Monday, February 13th; this slip must be returned no later than Friday, February 10th if you would like your child to participate.

We're looking forward to a fun adventure!

Your third-grade teachers,

Mrs. Fritz, Miss Joy, and Mr. Whittaker

There is a line at the bottom of this letter, offering a blank for the student's name and another for the parent's signature. Below that, however, is an additional note in red pen.

Please see my previous three letters, sign, and return.

-Mrs. Fritz