Pt2.

"You have no idea do you?" I asked.

Number 1 cocked her head to the side and gave me a puzzled look, she herself barely noticing the fresh blood dribbling down her neck. Three blades meant any movement would cut, and she was fidgeteding like she'd just hit the nose-beers herself. Though, sadly, she was full send ADHD and never once thought it was something to work on or control, only embrace.

Not that she knew what those four letters meant, no one on this world did.

"You actually don't." I was stunned. Genuinely. Though I guess I shouldn't be, she had been twelve, maybe thirteen when I gave her the glyph. Starved, beaten, slaved and possibly worse, she'd been half feral when I'd chanced upon the wagon train that held her captive. Too young and too traumatised.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. All this time and she had no idea.

"Guards!" The King, er, Emperor... the Kingperor said with a casual, dismissive wave. "Remove the summons already and bring her to me."

"What are you laughing at asshole?" She demanded, her eyes never once leaving my face.

I laughed even harder. This crazy wench had summoned me more times than I'd had different lives, she'd called me to fight, to solve her petty squabbles or to beat someone who'd beaten her. I'd stolen, intimidated, coerced, I'd hunted and cooked, I'd even hand stitched patches into her clothes.

And this entire time she had no idea who or what I actually was.

"Ah-hah-haaa! Oh man, sorry little one, that's just too much," I finally managed to say.

"Oi, you shitty summons, I'm the master here!" Number 1 yelled. I want to say screamed, but it wasn't screaming, not yet. And she wasn't anywhere near girly enough for that anyhow. Roared would be more accurate. "I give the orders, me, Eslyn Dar! You, the summons, follow the orders, same as usual. Now help get me out of here!"

I laughed again. I couldn't help it. It was too good, and I was a little too broken by now. One hundred and... ten, or was it eleven? One hundred and eleven different lives, and then this crazy bitch summoned me hundreds of times, fracturing an already strained psyche. So I laughed, and enjoyed the hilarity I found in the situation. Worst was that I was glad the summons hadn't hurt at all, like, at all.

"YOU DARE IGNORE ME!?"

Eslyn and I both turned to look at the Kingperor, who was so red he was almost purple. His eyes were bloodshot and spittle flecked his lips and chin. The pudgy man looked apoplectic with rage.

"Hoo-boy, woo-sah my rotund friend, woo-sah!" I tried to sound calming, but mirth colored my tone and I could barely keep my hands steady as I patted at the air.

Eslyn on the other hand, took a different approach. "Shut up, beefcake."

I actually giggled at that. I'd taught her that one. And a lot of the insults she used that just confused everyone on her homeworld.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

Three blades moved before the words has finished leaving the kingperors mouth and Eslyn shrieked. Full on screamed. Like she always did when she genuinely thought she might die.

Clang, clang-ang!

I don't think I'd actually stopped laughing since I started, just barely managing to get my words out, but now in the silence that billowed out in the wake of the ring of steel on stone, my laughter bounced around the wide vaulted chamber with quite dramatic effect.

"Eh!?" Eslyn flicked one eye open and peered around, then gasped in shock and squealed in delight - just like she used to do as a kid - when she saw all three men staring at the bleeding stumps where their forearms used to be. "Eat a bag of dicks, stumpy boys!"

"M-m-my men, what... what did you DO TO MY MEN!?" Kingperor started with a scared stutter, that progressed into a scared shriek. One to rival Eslyn's. Impressive. "GUARDS!"

The sound of armored feet began to echo down the halls leading into the room and Eslyn turned panicked eyes on me again, once again ignoring the now handless men who fell back toward the walls.

"GUARDS!" The Kingperor screamed again, his voice shrill and cracking.

"Oi, Kami," Eslyn said, her voice much smaller now. I giggled again. "The laughter is getting weird now. He's about to bring hundreds of soldiers in here and then we're screwed!"

The name she'd used was from one of my favourite worlds, one so devoid of magic I wondered if I'd finally found a way to cheat reincarnation. Sadly it didn't, but it's lack of magic made it fascinatingly diverse in so many unique ways. Such as their folklore, mythology and the bizarre, almost fanatic and fetishist ways subgroups of cultures embellished and twisted said culture. I'd told her it because to a twelve year old, I may as well have been God, yet here she was, still treating me like a regular old summoned pet Axehound.

Kids.

"GUARDS!" The Kingperor screamed again as dozens of heavily armored figures began spilling into the chamber. "KILL TH-"

His voice cut off so abruptly that even the soldiers still pouring in turned to look and find out why.

Clang-thud, thud-thud.

First the crown, then his knees, then finally the Kingperors head hit the marble stone floors moments before his body did too.

Clap. Giggle. Clap. Giggle. Clap.

"Well, Eslyn, you little rascal." I slung an arm over her shoulder as she stared wide eyed at me. Wider than I'd ever seen her stare, it looked like her eyes might genuinely fall right our of her face if her eyelids retreated any further. I could barely see them as it was. "Let's get out of here shall we?"

"But-" she began, one hand raised to point at the half crazed, half stunned royal guard.

Then one exploded. The concussive force blew his neighbours aside and several cried out in pain and disorientation.

"But-" Eslyn tried again.

Bang! Cla-clang, thud-thud! Bang! Bang!

"What?" My laughter seemed to have stopped, which was good, but the wide, manic smile I saw reflected in the girls eyes told me it had just retreated. The laughter didn't need to be free at the moment, not when realisation was dawning in those same glassy eyes. "No time for your oldest pal?"

Bang! Ba-bang! BangBangBangBangBangBang!

I felt like I was Rambo, or Carl, or Jon Lajoie.

Cool guys don't look at explosions.

"I'm hungry," I felt my grin get wider as we walked out of the throne room. Eslyn shook, her skin pale and clammy. "You?"

I wonder where the kitchens are?

Time for some more laughter.

And food.