Once there were three yellow birds who lived on Lemon Tree Street. The little one, Fergus, didn’t like bird seed, so lived on worms. The middle one, Murdok, didn’t like worms, so lived on bird seed. The third bird, Trixie, didn’t like bird seed or worms, so bye-bye Fergus, bye-bye Murdok. But now I‘m too big to fly, so I write short stories. It’s not much fun, but it keeps me busy, I suppose. Would you like one more? Yes, it’s got birds in it. Of course. Bird stories is my thing, my expertise. Don’t like it? Tough titty.

Edit: Not a great story, but it met the required criteria. So that’s something.