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Writteninsanity t1_j5lzpb7 wrote

The Genie had been on the mountain forever. In the early days, once humans discovered him, he'd been the one defining point of history. Wars, famines, droughts, even death. All problems were solved by the genie. Each adult got one wish a year, and people knew how to use them,

Years into the existence of the Genie, he had said his first no, and then the nos turned into a cascade. It turned out that the genie would never grant the same wish twice. This hadn't mattered when a small smattering of people were seeing the genie, but once you could fly from all over the world to see him, it was suddenly near-impossible to get a wish granted. Even the crazy or simple ones.

A billion people trying to come up with something, anything, that hadn't been asked for.

It didn't help that the Genie's rules cared about intent. To him, a million dollars was the same as a billion dollars, you were just wishing for money. Any love in the world was the same as another. All yachts were banned after the pirate Blackbelt wished for a grand white luxury ship in the 1600's.

The Genie was reductive, everything in the human experience was boiled down to simple concepts and categories.

In the early 1990's, someone was able to buy the deed to the Genie's land, and that had turned it into a business. Suddenly, it wasn't that everyone was allowed to wish from the genie, you needed to pay an exorbitant fee to get your shot. That changed things.

If it was going to cost hundreds of thousands to see the genie, you had to ensure that you did it right. That was where Djinnologists like me came in. It was my job to scour recorded history to create a timeline of wishes. Then Djinologists work with lawyers to craft the wording to and action the wish that our clients wanted.

In actuality, the list of wishes that we had no previous evidence of was staggering, partially because many wishes were functionally useless, and many others were impossible to track. There was no evidence of whether a woman had ever asked to be rid of her period cramps, but you had to imagine it had happened at some point.

Of course, most of the random open wishes weren't what our clients wanted. If our clients had a big enough trust fund to afford to see the genie, as well as enough money to hire us, they wanted a return on investment.

We hadn't provided this time.

Elroy MacEverill the 3rd, had been bought a wish with the genie for his birthday from his parents, a pair of shipping tycoons. We had offered Elroy options for wishes that would let him say 'I got a wish granted' but he'd constantly fished for something useful.

Between the lawyers and our team we came up with a wish that would translate to material wealth. As it turned out, the genie didn't care whether you wished to own a mine on earth, or on another planet.

Eroy MacEverill was now throwing a man-sized tantrum in the small heated waiting area that they'd built in front of the genie. I'd stepped out to get some fresh air, and sit beside the thing I'd spent my life studying. Afterall, we had an hour.

At this point, most people had made their wishes. One of the benefits from coming with a rich brat was that you could ask the genie for something after. Most of the lawyers and other Djinnologists wished for innocuous things to prove or disprove personal theories.

My favorite was that Alicia had wished for a naked mole rat who couldn't stop dancing if there was music around. It wasn't useful, but it was neat.

As I nursed my coffee that I'd clutched tight in my mittens, the booming voice of the Genie rang out behind me. "Do you have a wish my good man?"

"I think I'm good this year," I said. I had a list of options in my pocket, but none of them meant anything and I'd be back here in a couple months with a rich dick or a rich dick's daughter either way.

"No wishes?" he asked, "you people who study me are a peculiar group." I felt the mountain wind pick up for a moment as the genie moved his massive form closer behind me. "Tell me, do you ensure that you write about how handsome I am?"

"Of course," I lied.

"Good good. It's unfortunate I ended up here. I should be in the middle of the town square for ladies to admire," he trailed off, "or men. That was actually someone's wish. You can write that one down."

"They wished for you to be-"

"That's the funny thing, already was. Not that I can act on it but the magic that makes me also cares about some of my human traits."

I nodded.

"Luckily it doesn't let me get bored because hoooooo boy I would be a lonely little genie."

There wasn't much of my coffee left. "Yeah well. Kinda wish it was back like it used to be where everyone was allowed to come here and-" I stoppled. I'd just broken the one rule.

"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND."

"WAIT- SHIT."

I spun to see the Genie swell to massive proportions, looming over the mountaintop like a raging stormbound. He brought his gargantuan fist down on top of the building on top of the mountain.

"HOLY. OH GOD-"

The Genie shrunk down back to his normal size. The building remained undestroyed under his fist. "I'm just kidding man it's chill."

"What the hell?"

"I just made it so any wealth transfer attempted to buy access to me would inevitably end up back with the payee. Seemed easier."

"Oh-" I took a deep breath. "Oh that's good," I stared at the building with all my coworkers inside. Thank God they were alive.

Of course, now I needed to explain that they were all out of a job...

/r/Jacksonwrites - edit for some grammar.

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jeffh4 t1_j5m2z8y wrote

... or...

"Is it too late to ask for a fake ID and a ticket to somewhere off the grid?"

The Genie smiled. "1,835th time that's been asked. And you already had your wish.
Better luck next year."

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Celebrinborn t1_j5n5xih wrote

That's... clever...

I did not see the twist until I read it then looked back and it was obvious in hindsight... That's a REALLY GOOD twist

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Mulanisabamf t1_j5o3eis wrote

Very nice! Didn't see that coming.

One thing though:

>Tell me, do you insure that you right about how handsome I am?"

I think that's supposed to say "write "?

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MolhCD t1_j5nc3lc wrote

Hey guys...so. I kinda fucked up...

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bibblode t1_j5om7nf wrote

In my opinion it is not a fuck up. Something like that genie who can only grant a specific wish once can't really be abused and everyone should have access.

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Ignisiumest t1_j5ouv3h wrote

You only need to wish to destroy a concept like currency once.

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Krayan_ t1_j5ns1sm wrote

Nicely written!

But it doesn't work, because the initial cost stays the same. Only people who already have the money then would attempt to buy a ticket. Which means all the rich brats get their money back, while the poor people can't afford the initial cost.

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Writteninsanity t1_j5ns6dx wrote

Fair point, but I imagine the structures around it would break down as soon as it was literally impossible to collect profit from corralling the genie.

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The_Almighty_Cthulhu t1_j5of4lo wrote

Yea I can imagine that. Eventually some rich activist or activist group gets some money together, and just offers to pay for anyone that gets to the genie, knowing that the money will come back.

Followed by them just no longer trying to collect money, cause what's the point now?

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DBONKA t1_j5opd2l wrote

Then they could pay with something that can't be physically moved, for example real estate, instead of money.

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Uticus t1_j5p3065 wrote

Sounds like a new consultant for the land owner to try and find a way around the genies rules.

In addition the wish consulting services will likely continue to exist as the rich will still want to be the "guaranteed" wish. Downsized yes but not gone

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LucyFerAdvocate t1_j5o4fv1 wrote

I mean they're not really out of a job, if anything they have more money because there's more money to make sure the wish is granted rather then spending thousands on just making it

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DodgerWalker t1_j5q6yuw wrote

If I was in that guy’s position, I would have wished for a device that I could tell a proposed wish and it would tell me whether it was still grantable- would make his job far easier. Plus it would block anyone else from getting a similar device so he wouldn’t have any competition in the wish consulting agency.

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PersonalFeebas t1_j5ozq0y wrote

Awesome! It reminds me, in spirit, of Jack of Shadows by Roger Zelazny.

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donaldhobson t1_j5rgnkj wrote

I wish you were no longer bound by the rule that wishes had to be unique.

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LeviAEthan512 t1_j5p7kr7 wrote

Yup, 10/10, definitely classic Jackson

What I'd like to know, in the field of Djinnology, is how far does the reduction go? All numbers of dollars are the same, how about different currencies, or at what point is a resource liquid enough to be a currency? Or is it just intent like you say, so if you intend to wish for some weird shit just to sell it, it counts as currency? Would superpowers be divided into categories, or all together, and would enhancing normal abilities to naturally possible levels count? Does enhancing charisma with the intent to find love count as wishing for love? Maybe not, since you can wish for the means to acquire precious metals.

More importantly, did the MC just ban all ctrl Z wishes? Or perhaps discover that undoing things isn't reduced. Because that could lead to a quest to find the guy who wished that no wish could be granted twice, or that the genie is reductive, and the right wording to undo that wish. Maybe time travel to a time can't be done, time travel to a person can't be done, but using a different sort of anchor is fine.

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NotAMeatPopsicle t1_j5qcvwj wrote

I would liken this to the classic lawyer-ish genie behavior of using whatever interpretation and loopholes the djinn wishes to use. In one instance bartering could be considered an intent of currency, in another instance the djinn would claim it doesn’t apply on matter of technicality.

The challenge is to word the request and attempt to gain the favor of the djinn while not expressly attempting to do so in a way that would piss off the genie or tip your hand that you’re attempting a manipulation. I wouldn’t want to be on the disfavorable side of a djinn that thought I was attempting to manipulate them.

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Montalve t1_j5peaen wrote

Accidental wish so everything was like before, jajajaja good twist.

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