#Speedy Cheetah Time Travel Services

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Congratulations! You have won a Speedy Cheetah vacation trip to Ancient Egypt!

Fasten your safety belts and get ready for the ride of your life! Our comfortable, first-class excursion will bring you to the end of the Egyptian Middle Kingdom and the reign of Mentuhotep IV.

Archeologists have questioned this period for years, and now you are able to possess first hand knowledge and experiences you shouldn’t have were it not for the wonder of String Tunneling.

Our patented time travel process brings you into the action, while avoiding any messy grandfather paradoxes or causal loops that you might get with the other guys. As soon as you begin your journey with us, your trip becomes one of many outcomes.

Start your day with our costume department and sip wine while they outfit you to naturally blend into the eleventh dynasty. Then move on to our exclusive translation team as they install hidden translators to make your experience second to none!

Finally, enter the portal with confidence, knowing our triple-tested, internationally-certified, award-winning time-travel pod is designed with your comfort and safety in mind.

You’ll land at a predetermined location, carefully mapped out by our logistics team. A ground team will be there to greet you and bring you into the Pharaoh's presence. Please bow at that point.

The immunization team will have already prepared you with the ability to feast on anything you find before you at the Pharaoh’s feast. Enjoy the entertainment!

We hope your trip exceeds all of your expectations and we look forward to serving you in the future, or the past!

Disclaimer:

Speedy Cheetah is not responsible for any discomfort, injury, allergy, death, beatings, floggings, sicknesses, enslavement, torture, or foul smells you may encounter on your journey. Travelers agree to avoid disrupting the timeline with any form of anachronism or knowledge transmitted from them to an individual from the past. Speedy Cheetah does not warrant the traveler against unexpected events including, but not limited to, grandfather paradoxes, causal loops, or interference in the timeline by our competitors. Travelers assume all risk and agree to settle all disputes with Speedy Cheetah via a foot race. We sincerely hope you enjoy your trip.

Speedy Cheetah: There is time enough to last.

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