I know this is literally exactly what you talked about, but the best thing you can say is that the real answer is complex. Light as little balls being absorbed and re-emitted is a surprisingly good solution mathematically, but we know it has to be an incomplete picture because light is also a wave.

There are also good practical examples of why this is an incomplete description: it completely fails to explain refraction and reflection. The interesting part to me is that a) the real mean path model is a really good mathematical model of the speed of light in a medium b) despite that not being the only thing that’s happening c) even though it is happening. It’s a very inertial mass = mass situation.