I lost a student to suicide a few years ago and it wrecked me for a long time. I’ve also delivered eulogies and met with families who lost children unexpectedly.

Grief doesn’t work on a timeline. Especially at first. Imagine a washing machine with a glass window on the side. Inside that machine is every emotion possible. Grief, anger, guilt, denial, acceptance, etc. The washing machine is turned on and the emotions are spiraling inside. Every now and again one gets pressed against the glass and you see it. Then it’s ripped away and another replaces it.

In the cases of unexpected loss that I’ve witnessed, their loved ones are literally swirling in emotions so violently you’d never be able to isolate anything as a “stage”.

I would argue that to really understand grief you have to see and go through it. The most rational, balance person can become an irrational mess for years due to grief.

It’s just horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.