Calling a spade a spade is called for at times. But the OP admitted to racist feelings that he doesnt like having. Telling him he’s stupid doesn’t help him process those feelings. He needs to be told these feelings are understandable given the trauma. But those feelings shouldn’t be directed to a whole group of people. His attackers could have easily been any color or group. They happened to be black because of the whole history of systemic racism. His anger shouldn’t be directed to group of disadvantaged people, but at the system that created this situation he was put in. He should be able to run in any neighborhood without fear.