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InvisibleSpaceVamp t1_je4et54 wrote

You don't win real friends by playing an agreeable role. This might work for superficial contacts, acquaintances, business partners and other types of small talk relationships, but not with friends. At least my idea of a friendship is, that I can be myself and totally honest with my friends.

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gnatsaredancing t1_je4vy2a wrote

There's a difference between being honest and being honest in an antagonising manner. The goal here is to get your point across without people rejecting what you're trying to do.

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InvisibleSpaceVamp t1_je5c2em wrote

Yes. And this is great in business relationships etc. ... but with my friends I don't have to consider these things because they know I'm not trying to antagonize them.

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gnatsaredancing t1_je5l33v wrote

Lots of friendships fail and lots of people have difficulty making friends exactly because they have poor social grace.

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McGilla_Gorilla t1_je533ac wrote

William Gaddis, one of America’s great under-read novelists, used to rage against Carnegie as a symbol of everything wrong with our “culture”. This description from The Recognitions is one of my favorites:

> Here was no promise of anything so absurd as a void where nothing was, nor so delusive as a chimerical kingdom of heaven: in short, it reconciled those virtues he had been taught as a child to the motives and practices of the man, the elixir which exchanged the things worth being for the things worth having. It was written with reassuring felicity. There were no abstrusely long sentences, no confounding long words, no bewildering metaphors in an obfuscated system such as he feared finding in simply bound books of thoughts and ideas. No dictionary was necessary to understand its message; no reason to know what Kapila saw when he looked heavenward, and of what the Athenians accused Anaxagoras, or to know the secret name of Jahveh, or who cleft the Gordian knot, the meaning of 666. There was, finally, very little need to know anything at all, except how to “deal with people.”

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NewAd8974 t1_je7t202 wrote

Just finished J R. Glad to see this here

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McGilla_Gorilla t1_je86cgn wrote

What’d you think? Read that one last year actually

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NewAd8974 t1_je87obp wrote

Loved it a lot. The way he writes voices blows me away. Also putting in so many little details and resolving them hundreds of pages later with an offhand comment is so my jam. All the characters were great but Gibbs/Rhoda/JR/ and Davidoff were the ones I probably enjoyed most

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