How do I get over a sad ending?

Submitted by cocky_roachy t3_120gcl2 in books

I just read this book with a really sad ending and it’s really fucked me up. I spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom ugly crying. I’m so angry and I can’t stop thinking about it. I went into this book having no clue how dark it would be and how heartbreaking the ending would be. I tried to get my mind off of it by watching something funny or trying to read one of my favorite comfort books. But nothing is working. Everything reminds me of this damn book. It’s ruining my life.

How do you deal with a sad ending? How do you move on or get over it? And how long does it take for you to stop feeling depressed about it?

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Suspicious-Ad6635 t1_jdh2okf wrote

Okay, so I have to ask, which book are you speaking of? Secondly, after a statement like that, you didn't think anyone would be curious to know? Time heals all.

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Voracious_book_eater t1_jdhlhv7 wrote

it was 1984. i cried because of the unsettling similarities with today's world

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Suspicious-Ad6635 t1_jdidmid wrote

I know right!? That book absolutely blew my mind. I think, to this day, it is the one that haunted me the most deeply, and for the longest time. I never saw it coming, or in hindsight, I was hoping...

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AlliCommon t1_jdh3idu wrote

Just keep living idk. whats the alternative, crying over a book for the rest of your life?

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Elixer_of_Turtles t1_jdh420g wrote

You get to embrace this human experience! Feel the sadness and appreciate that a piece of literature, a story and an imagination, was so powerful it punched you in the gut!

I feel feelings from books and movies all the time. One show I was really loving just came to an end and I’ll probably feel those residual feelings for a bit too. The longing for the characters, the looking up fan art, the thinking of the what-ifs.

Then, in a week or two, I’ll have moved on. Live in the sadness and feel the longing now because in a few weeks real life will come back.

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ItsBoughtnotBrought t1_jdhza94 wrote

Well, it's not real for a start. Maybe focus on how devoid of sadness your own life is to be this affected by book or on the flip side, delve into whatever real grief you're carrying around in real-life that was brought out by something you connected to in the book.

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JIN_DIANA_PWNS t1_jdhx28g wrote

Just read another good book to over-write these (very real yet vicarious emotions).

The Painted Bird (Jerzy Kosiński)

Blood Meridian (Cormac McCarthy)

Man’s Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl)

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TopGovtOfficial t1_jdh2lkl wrote

Write your own ending, one that resolves better for you.

Also, what was the book? I love to ugly cry in the bathroom.

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geitjesdag t1_jdh9dvx wrote

I think it's kind of a wonderful thing about stories, that they can affect us like this, even though it hurts.

I think at longest I felt acutely sad for a couple hours, and had a vague cloud hanging over me for a few days. How long ago did you finish the book?

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windy-gales t1_jdh3stx wrote

The easiest way for me has been to move on by reading or watching a new book or show that grips you so your focus moves on.

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bgb372 t1_jdh570k wrote

Steinbeck????

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_jdhj08o wrote

It's virtual grief. Like any other grief it takes time. Just let it exist without fighting it. You will be fine.

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Amphy64 t1_jdilvgh wrote

I think it depends. I will never get over having read A Place of Greater Safety, and it'll always be why I now know French and have a lasting interest in the Revolution, but that one, what happened is not only real but even unimaginably worse knowing more of the history. I know it might seem obvious to have been expecting it but I really wasn't, either. It also personally connected with me (disabled) because Mantel drew on her experience with health issues and how they're part of the historical personages experiences too.

Purely fictional sad endings, especially if you have a sense of unfairness about it, it might come back to you when you think about it but I haven't really had that feeling last more than a few days. Keep doing other things.

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katietatey t1_jdjn4ha wrote

What book? You can't keep us in suspense OP!!!

When I get an event or ending I can't deal with in a book or a movie I just rewrite it myself. "Nope, that's not what happened, this is what happened." It doesn't happen often, usually with an animal death or suffering.

Also getting mad at the author sometimes helps. I'm still mad at David Wroblewski for The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. And also to my friend who said "you love dogs, you will love this book," and gave me a copy.

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Joe_Doe1 t1_jdkmdjr wrote

I get over a sad ending by realising it's a book.

Once I realise it's a book I get this thing called perspective.

Once I get perspective I know a book can't ruin my day, let alone my life.

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Unusual-Wash4227 t1_jdkys9t wrote

Write your own story that has the ending you want

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SparklingSarcasm99 t1_jdmz8qc wrote

I think if you’re dwelling or ruminating on the ending to try distracting yourself with other things, if readings not cutting it, then try doing something else. I often find TV to not be enough of a distraction when I’m lost in thought. Throw yourself into a project or a hobby until your mind settles a little. I had a similar problem years ago when I read The Notebook the first time, (my grandparent had passed away and I don’t know why the heck I thought it was a sensible idea to read it). It will pass, and you’ll probably always look back at that story and feel sad or mad about the ending but it won’t be as big a deal anymore.

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filiaflorum t1_jdodws0 wrote

Oh I struggle with this big time. Time, of course, is the only thing that will truly help. I also love to write an alternative ending if there’s a specific ending I wish the book had taken.

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