>Choosing to define it differently is choosing to misunderstand the common meaning of the term without any benefit.

You know, If you can come up with a better word for me, that would be great. In normal every-day conversation, I use the words selfish and selfless like you suggest. In this specific type of conversation, I feel like it's okay to use it, because we're talking about something very specific. Every act a person does, even sacrificing yourself for others, pleases you on some level, which means it has a selfish component. That doesn't make it entirely selfish, if we are judging the act in other, more practical ways.

In other words, this is mostly semantics.