Yeah this used to be then I realized in a trans man💀 On a more serious note though, you say you read thrillers and gore, I don't read this genre but I would ask myself these questions:

1. Are there substantial women characters in your novels in the first place? Or are they reduced to stereotypes and/or trauma?
2. How are the women characters usually written?
3. How are the men characters usually written?
4. Are there traits, or maybe one particular one, in the men characters that aren't in the women characters or vice versa?
5. How are the woman characters treated? For example is there simply to get murdered? If so, it would be hard to relate to her because her entire being is reduced to the murder.
6. How do the protagonist think of women around them? For example in the book Maurice, the titular character hates women.

I don't know what the answers are because I don't read this genre! Maybe you just have a personality that isn't typically assigned to women in the genre, you read. You didn't ask but the most relatable woman character to me is Jo March in Little Women.

Edit: It might also be worth examining if you relate to women and womanhood in real life.