Yeah, “I don’t know” was the wrong term. I know exactly why, it just doesn’t make any sense. Also, I think a lot of projecting is going on in this thread (I deleted my own initial comment up top because I was projecting just as hard as the others, from the opposite side of the fence). The OP is saying she “cannot relate” and finds the actions and thoughts of females in books “hard to understand.” Nothing to do with “internalized misogyny.” More like a disconnect between OP’s narrative of what it means to be a woman and that of the books she reads(?)