It really depends on the book club. I am in one with a group of friends. It is always a mix of what did we think of the book and what is going on in our lives. This last week our meeting was almost entirely about the book, just because we read a memoir of someone who faced a lot of challenges and there were a lot of heavy ideas to address. We were all really engaged in the topics addressed in the book. Other times, nobody really has a lot to say about the book, so it's mostly a social occasion. As an individual I find you can say as much or as little as you choose, without dominating the discussion. Like no one will mind that you have notes, but also no one will expect that you have to have them.

I recently went to a silent bookclub that I found through Meetup. In silent bookclub everyone is reading their own book and there is some social time after. Nearly all of the conversations I had in the social time were about books, but not about any specific book.

During the height of the pandemic, I went to two zoom bookclub events (also found through Meetup) and mostly the topic stayed on the book or on books with similar themes. I think when you don't know the people in the club personally, you might be more inclined to stay on the book topic (as opposed to general socializing). I also realized zoom bookclub is not for me. I prefer in person.