I'm an autistic adult! Staying on top of your kids' IEPs is the biggest thing you can do right now. My family was extremely supportive of me when I needed services through my IEP. When I went to university, I had a 504 plan through the disability services department to help me with accommodations, talking with professors, and navigating university life. Not sure if you plan/expect your kids to be going to college/university, but some are better than others at supporting specifically autistic/neurodiverse students (RIT and Beacon College are two I know of off the top of my head.)