I went to Sandy Balls once. There is also a place in the far north of Scotland called Twatt. Which is kinda ironic because I am from the south coast of England. And what’s the similarity between my hometown and my sex life throughout most of my life until my mid 20s (apart from a few glorious years around 20/21)? Despite my best efforts, I was always a long way from Twatt. Badom ting.