I'd recommend the PS5 disc model for you since it's a guaranteed upgrade. It will make your existing library better, add current gen exclusives AND you can sell your PS4. That should give you a head start on saving up for your VR. Also, they are still a bit difficult to get. This gives you the opportunity to put the stress of finding one on someone else.

Since you've never had VR, you run the risk of possibly not liking it. When you are counting on one or 2 big gifts every year, it sucks when you get one that turns out to be a bust. I'm not saying VR is a bust but it's possible that you may get bored with it after a few the or so. It's an unknown whereas the PS5 is a guaranteed improvement.