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ZidaneOnTheBall t1_j9do9eu wrote

Reply to comment by SomeDumbGirl in [OC] This year I'm trying to document how my mental illness progresses/regresses to see if there's some sort of pattern by SomeDumbGirl

Sure thing. Do you take any medications to treat/mitigate your condition? And what about therapy?

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SomeDumbGirl OP t1_j9dolk6 wrote

Yes, I’m on a low dose antidepressant (bupropion) and have talk therapy about once a month. I started medication about a year ago, and therapy late 2019

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ZidaneOnTheBall t1_j9doy7e wrote

Doesn't bupropion give you any side effects? It's mainly used to treat smoking habits and depressive disorders. How did you start feeling after you started taking that medication?

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SomeDumbGirl OP t1_j9e4772 wrote

It gave me some loss of appetite but that was only notable for two weeks or so. By a month it wasn’t an issue. Other than that I’ve had no side effects. Can’t speak for anyone else tho.

Bupropion is an antidepressant, yes! There are also psychiatrists who are trying it for ADHD, because it’s link with dopamine.

To be honest, I didn’t feel very different at all. My general level of functioning went up and my anxiety flare ups lessened. I still consider myself a mess and an overthinker LMFAO but it’s much more manageable now. For example, I used to go to college part time because it was all I could handle, but currently I’ve been going full time + online classes and doing well!

I didn’t really document changes like that in detail, but strangely enough it did affect my art skills, which I payed attention to. Not creative thinking, but literally just being able to hold a pencil and translating 3D objects onto paper. Weird stuff, I should look up studies on it.

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ZidaneOnTheBall t1_j9e99eu wrote

Full time is very impressive, since I noticed you have days where you could go through MDD for 6+ hours.

By the way, if you ever get into MDD while talking to someone, in class, etc, can't a person next to you "wake you up"? How easy is it to exit the daydreaming state? I'm guessing it's very easy (uncontrollably) to enter it.

When were you first diagnosed with it? Is it something that comes when you're born? How was your childhood like?

I find the translation into art skills a very fascinating idea. Ever tried to fully utilize your art skills? Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

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SomeDumbGirl OP t1_j9eea39 wrote

LMAO thanks man. That’s kinda validating :’D

It’s impossible for me to daydream in a conversation with someone, and hard but not impossible to daydream in public settings. I’ve never had a stranger or acquaintance “catch me” daydreaming so to speak. My physical symptoms are almost nothing so I’d just look like anyone else staring off into space (other ppl with MADD may whisper to themselves, pace, require music, etc.)

It is very easy to daydream— this is something everyone does with very few exceptions. Everyone can daydream voluntarily just by imagining any scene. However, Maladaptive daydreaming is when your brain starts daydreaming to escape reality. For me, what varies is how enjoyable daydreaming is— some times I want to daydream but it just aint Hittin’, and sometimes I rly don’t want to daydream but I keep slipping. With therapy and meds, I’ve been very good at snapping myself out of daydreams and keeping myself out when I need to, for the most part. It’s rare for me to not realize I’m daydreaming any more than 10 mins in nowadays, opposed to high school when I could spend four hours straight daydreaming and not notice until I realize it’s dark outside.

I developed MADD around 9 years old during summer vacation from under stimulation and neglect since my mom was single and worked full time. Mind you, I had no clue that that playing with ur stuffed animals for entire days on end was Bad, and no one noticed. It peaked in high school when my home life became, ah, traumatizing without going into detail. Daydreamed any available moment and almost didn’t graduate. No one noticed, including myself. I just thought I was “a creative” and just a lesser capable human being lol.

MADD isn’t actually in the DSM as of yet, and has only been named and formally researched for a decade or so— barely anything compared to many other disorders. I specifically remember trying to research maladaptive daydreaming when I was like 13, but it was so under researched that I didn’t relate to it. Googled it again after graduating and noticing I was getting stuck in daydreams, and whaddya know looks like I have a mental illness after all!

You seem super interested in this. Would you like me to link you some research articles about it?

Yes, I’ve been drawing since I was about 11! Not disguised at all! Here’s my art page. I used to pursue art as a career, but decided psychology was a better choice of major. I’ve kept it as a hobby, but I haven’t been active posting or making art in a while, I’ve been so busy. My proudest piece is prob that surgery oil painting. I started taking meds around that MS paint cat meme drawing, so you can sorta see how my ability to convey space/depth develops.

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ZidaneOnTheBall t1_j9ekneo wrote

That's comforting to hear. I think snapping out in 10 mins or less is a breakthrough. Have you made friends throughout your high school years?

I'm sorry to hear about your family. This means (also according to a google search) MADD usually stems from (childhood) trauma.

I would absolutely love to see research articles! Please send them over.

Your art account is stunning! WOW. I've only seen the posts that do not require logging in (for mature-labeled content). I'll see the rest when I log in from my laptop.

Did you choose psychology because of your condition? Do you want to learn more about it? Help others? Or simply because you're coincidentally interested in psychology?

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SomeDumbGirl OP t1_j9gxzf1 wrote

I had a friend group that I stuck with since elementary school, but they started excluding me/ getting too cool for me so i went to join another friend group, which pissed them off more. Stupid high school drama, you know how it is. I'm not close with anyone from high school anymore-- my best friends right now are friends of old friends and psych classmates. MADD often stems from childhood trauma, but there is at least one documented case where it just sorta appeared with no apparent emotional cause, which was treated successfully with OCD medication.

slideshow presentation project i made for a class. it's short, but it also links to the studies referenced on each slide for a more in-depth look.

Thank you for the compliment!

I'm not entirely sure what drew me to psychology in the first place, but knowing what makes people tick (or tick incorrectly) mentally/emotionally and physically is just so interesting to me. People really are living in totally different worlds based on what kinds of thought processes we use to translate reality into a personal human experience, and the vast majority we are completely unaware of. I think I was sold on psychology when I worked in a preschool and unconsciously made it my mission to better understand and help my toddlers. I was doing therapy work without realizing it, sometimes! I can talk about this shit for hours fr.

May I ask, what makes you so curious? Are you also into psych in some way? Or does MADD specifically interest you? I've never had someone interview me this thoroughly lol, not even my therapist!

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Designing_Data t1_j9fitqi wrote

That is some really nice art you've got there! Do you have anything for sale?

Furthermore, perhaps the quantified self approach to how your art may be impacted by medication is an art project of itself. I would love to see your works. Send me a message back please (-:

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SomeDumbGirl OP t1_j9hs7mr wrote

oh wow! believe it or not i don't get that question often, online.

I made this just now, hope it works! Feel free to email me with an order or request at beezahpaints@gmail.com

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