Depending on the family we grow up in, we'll learn a language. My family spoke English so I speak English. I don't speak Hindi, Swahili or French... but many people do.

If I wanted to learn to speak French, I'd be best to find someone who speaks French. More than that, I'd be best to find someone who speaks it slowly and clearly, someone who cares about my progression, and gives me time to stumble over my words and find it difficult sometimes. In other words, trying to learn French from the angry drunk guy on the bus might not be ideal.

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When we grow up in a family we also learn certain thought patterns, certain ways of communicating, expressing emotions, responding to emotions and so forth. They're as normal to us as speaking English is to me.

Unfortunately, we might be a bit specialised in our skills. Maybe our family were total assholes and so the skills we learned to survive with our family of assholes don't actually help us in real life.

Maybe your mum screamed at you, belittled you, and blamed you for anything that went wrong. Well that's like learning Hindi in an English speaking country. When you go out to work in the real world, you might find you're limited in how you can connect to people.

So you go to therapy to learn to love, be kind, to forgive, accept, talk nicely to yourself and to other people. You might even learn to feel and accept your own emotions instead of feeling guilty for them.

And you learn them because, if the therapist is any good, they will speak to you in a loving, caring, accepting manner... and so from them you will learn how to be that way yourself.

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So you maybe didn't really need 14 different therapists. That's like thinking you needed 14 different plumbers to fix the leaky sink. If you're willing to get in there and experience the experience they have to give you, maybe you'll get what you need.

The problem, of course, is that if the first language you learned is one of judgement and distrust, then you're going to judge and distrust all the therapists... and so you won't give them a chance to get you better.

Maybe your parents never gave you a chance... so you won't give the therapists a chance either.

Maybe your parents commanded you what to do and were very controlling... so you'll find it weird when the therapist doesn't give you specific instructions but instead trusts you to find your own solutions.

Maybe your parents told you you're incompetent... and so you think the therapists are incompetent for not noticing how incompetent you are, and instead they believe in your ability to heal.

Maybe you're desperate for a therapist to "fix" you... because your parents convinced you you're broken. But maybe the therapists are all communicating that you're just fine and that frustrates and annoys you.

The point here is that it's entirely possible that the things that stop the therapy succeeding are exactly the things you need the therapy for.

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Best of luck. It can be very difficult.