Some feedback:
The verse is much stronger than the chorus and quite a jarring shift. Mostly that's because the verse has a distinct style and the chorus seems to be aiming for a much poppier tone. I would recommend you stick to your stronger songwriting instincts rather than trying to find something pop. It would take a lot of luck for pop audiences to find you anyway, so why not try to lean into a more attainable and more artistic niche?
Also, be careful with how you assign syllables to melody lines. In the pursuit of making your lyrics accessible and poppy, you've used cliched phrases which might have the right number of syllables, but their accented syllables don't fit the beat of your song.