saywhat1206 t1_j9jvqh0 wrote on February 22, 2023 at 2:27 PM

Reply to comment by _Strid_ in Mother Nature needs a vacation by funsk8mom

So my husband and I are supposed to just up and move from a state that both of us have lived in our entire lives because we can't shovel? The only family we have also lives in this state, specifically my MIL who is 85, and lives in the same city and we help take care of. She is lucky that her younger neighbors help her shovel in the winter.

When we bought our home 30 years ago, our nextdoor neighbors were elderly and we immediately, without being asked, helped them every time it snowed and in return the wife made us the most wonderful popovers. Now that we are older, I would hope that our younger neighbors that now live in that house would give us a hand. We do have a snowblower and offered to let our neighbor use it for their property as well but instead they shovel a lame 6 inch path on their sidewalk for people to barely be able to walk on. What ever happened to people helping each other out?

_Strid_ t1_j9lcq6a wrote on February 22, 2023 at 8:30 PM

It's my hope that my kids get to live a better life than to be my retirement plan. I hope they live wherever they want and can do everything they dream of, and then some.

I hope I never cause them to stop and think, what about mom and dad? This is mom and dad's responsibility.

What I can assure them I'd never do, is push off an issue that will affect them and have the audacity to say, "won't be a problem in my lifetime so, don't care, bring on the 60-degree NE Winter!"

How can you people do this? We are your kids, your grandkids, those neighbors you want help from, but still, you didn't care up front, and you still don't now that the proof is there. You just care that things are easier for you, better for you. That's being selfish, and it is what you're trying to tell the world it has become.

Anyway. Your neighbors, how well do you know them? What do they have going on in their lives? Do they hate the snow, too? They have a reason for what they do. Typically, it's not laziness, but something else. Maybe they don't want to feel indebted to anyone or tie themselves to the task because they know they can't honor the agreement, which is very responsible of them. It could be they are worried about legal or monetary issues if things go bad and break or worse, someone were to get hurt. You're asking them to make a commitment to digging you out and putting them on a potential hook if something were to go wrong. It may seem like a little, but it's a lot.

I had to pull up a decorative bench out of my yard so seniors from the assisted living community behind me would stop trespassing on their walks by my house. I would love to put a real bench and let them sit whenever and have a water cooler there, but I got sued bc someone said they got hurt in my yard.

A few years back, I watched childhood friend A step through a wood board on childhood friend B's, family's deck, and get a bruised leg. Friend A collected $30k from insurance and never skipped a beat.

There is a lot to consider in MA to be helpful. If I were in any other state I've lived, CO, AL, TX, I'd just help - it's a simpler choice.

saywhat1206 t1_j9lhz3e wrote on February 22, 2023 at 9:02 PM

I HAD three children. All of them are dead: 1 to cancer; 1 killed by a drunk driver and 1 killed by sleep apnea. My husband had 2 strokes in 2020, and has Stage 3B Kidney Failure. Next stage, he will need to be put on dialysis and a transplant list. He cannot shovel. I have COPD and severe arthritis. I do the shoveling, I hate it, it's painful, it takes me forever, but it's my responsibility. I don't think it's too much to ask neighbors for help now and then. I know all of my neighbors extremely well . But most are old like us and have the same physical issues. We all try to help each other. The younger people that live next to us we have known for 5+ years. We talk enough so that they know about our medical issues and more. We've offered them the use of our snowblower and I give them veggies from my garden in the summer, so I shouldn't feel guilty for asking them to give us a hand now and then. I can handle light stuff on my own, but heavy snow is too difficult. I'm far from selfish. I grew up helping others and still do as much as I can whenever I can.