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FrostyPhotog t1_j5ruhyf wrote

So hear me out on this… If your Ex got the the typical, over the top divorce attorney, you might be inclined to go the opposite direction. My Ex, went that way. She hired a prominent city councilman in the city I live who is very well known as being old money in the divorce legal game. When she retained him, my best friend pulled me aside and said “you might be in some trouble” as he had also used this gentleman on a different matter.

Having said that, being a large 6’3, 250lb man being painted as this angry, argumentative monster I went the route of getting a 60 year old, unassuming, motherly attorney who did a fantastic job for me. She was almost Columbo like where she would play naive, only to come full circle and really hammer this windbag of a tough guy.

I have full custody, and get paid child support… and I am a biological man, in MA lol. That’s almost unheard of.

Shoot me a DM if you want more info.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5tsait wrote

I love this and will definitely reach out, thank you!! I’m so glad everything worked out for you. Can I ask, were you a the primary care giver to the children?

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FrostyPhotog t1_j5ymtff wrote

I wouldn't say "everything worked out" for me. You will learn in time that whenever you go to court, you have to give to get. You just simply won't get everything you ask for, so I found it was better to initially aim high, and then work out a "compromise" that was more in line with what your actual expectations are.

My Ex and I were equal care givers. Hammer that home. You are a not a "weekend Dad," you are a staple in your children's lives, and their stability both physically and emotionally depends on your involvement with them. She will dispute this. You will rebut saying she is full of it. It's up to the judge to decide.

I found probate court was just a game of percentages. Everything you do is just to try to add a few percentage points to your column. Have court? Show up on time, dressed appropriately. Have a child exchange at the local police department? You're there 15 mins early. Document, Document, Document literally everything. Someone needs a contact number? Here you go, I have it readily available because.... my kids are the most important thing to me. Get a therapist. Not because you are mentally unstable, but because you are "willing to utilize all the resources available to you in order to navigate what is sure to be a difficult transition for both you and your kids." Im not saying if you do all this, that you just... win. Far from it. But it all looks good, and on any given day that might be just enough to sway your favor with the judge.

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