Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I read this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like "what the fuck" and "call the police". I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this story. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this post. This is your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.