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UniqueUsername82D t1_j6jnuzt wrote

8 billion people in the world and there's 12 personalities?

Mmk.

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Sinewave90 t1_j6kbj1t wrote

On the basis of their observations and calculations, the Babylonians divided the sky into twelve areas, each of which was assigned a figure, a name, and a specific meaning.

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Runelite_HD t1_j6kheh7 wrote

Aquarius!

There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus.

Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day.

35

CT_4269 t1_j6kj3cj wrote

Pisces!

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus

You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

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Deadsoup77 t1_j6kpwp4 wrote

Aries!

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

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MyFutureAsAFreyan t1_j6mahgd wrote

Taurus!

You will never find true happiness. Whatcha gonna do? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

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Cister0 t1_j6me39n wrote

Scorpio!

Your feeling have been hurt again, so dig that hole, harden your exo-skeleton, and never interact with anybody ever again. And if they try, inject poison.

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KuraidoV t1_j6nkf2g wrote

Saggitarius!
All your friends are laughing behind your back
(music stops)
KILL THEM.
Take down all those naked pictures of

Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den

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UniqueUsername82D t1_j6kyrnf wrote

What's that gotta do with there being 12 personalities in the world?

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Sinewave90 t1_j6mwgvb wrote

Those are the origins of the zodiacs, all the 12 zodiac signs are star constellations from those 12 areas, it's believed that the babylonians basically invented the horoscope 3000 to 4000 years ago (IIRC but no clue how accurate that is tbh)

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peipei222 t1_j6osoce wrote

What's that gotta do with there being 12 personalities in the world?

1

mrfroggyman t1_j6m252m wrote

No cuz I'm "ascendant Gemini" or some bullshit

Which mean you can COMBINE STUFF FOR MORE NUANCE

"Wait that trait is wrong???? Mmmmmmm That must be because of your ascendant"

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LiveLoveLaughable t1_j6mhksy wrote

There was a rock in a space somewhere, so now you are more frugal! Because somehow your personality is decided by the moment your mom pushes you out. Not by conception, not genes, not slowly formed while your brain formed. Nope. Oh and also it will cause you to have a bad Thursday at work next week. Bye!

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Avo2099isme t1_j6maomo wrote

There's actually a different personality for every day. And the moon and sun and other planets you were born in matters. There are thousand of slightly different personalities, like the real world

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foxxo90 t1_j6ldid4 wrote

Actually in the mbti(that isn't a bullshit) we have 16 personalities

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peipei222 t1_j6mbqg5 wrote

That's just astrology+ my dude. It's literally the same shit but pretending it's more scientific than astrology.

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CabidoMusic t1_j6jt9fp wrote

I purposefully lie about my birthday just to see what kinda bullshit they’re going to spew out their assholes

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BasakaIsTheStrongest t1_j6kqbdl wrote

“I can guess your sign in 12 tries.”

“A scorpio, eh? Let me guess: you breathe oxygen, and enjoy things you like. Your horoscope says to trust people, unless they’re untrustworthy.”

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Behzadhsh13 t1_j6m2w4d wrote

My sign is dark coffee and a pack of marlboros. Wonder what my horoscope says.

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MikAnxious t1_j6m3r1h wrote

Why tf would anyone tell a Scorpio to trust people? 🫠

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SlideItIn100 t1_j6jll5w wrote

I just don’t believe in it.

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John-333 t1_j6jpxs0 wrote

That's exactly what a Taurus would say.

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FrozenUruguay t1_j6lves8 wrote

yep im a ford taurus and i would say this

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Link17_18 t1_j6m98dx wrote

Yo as a Ford Taurus, what do you think of Chevy?

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FrozenUruguay t1_j6n94ik wrote

I like the trucks camaro and vettes but not everything else

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DavidWNA t1_j6mij8m wrote

Well I, a Siemens Taurus, would never say such things

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anubis_555 t1_j6jnwss wrote

Yup its a bunch of bs.

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A_Birb_Person t1_j6kflr5 wrote

Exactly what a caprisun would say

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anubis_555 t1_j6kgci0 wrote

I will have you know I am a cancersaurous.

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A_Birb_Person t1_j6kgkeq wrote

Well I’m an asparagus.

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naerisadon t1_j6k2vfh wrote

A friend of mine said

You re obviously not a lion, everything but a lion

...

Well let me tell you the story of my birth...

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Jamie_FindThatVideo t1_j6kgopx wrote

This lion, the king of the jungle, with this big giant mane, and this hot, smothering weather in Africa. And the small lions come up and poke at him, bite on his ear, bite on his neck, and the lioness comes over and bugs him. Then you’ve got the jackals and the rest of the wilderness looking and seeing these lions on the mountaintop. They come over and bother him. They eat all his food…

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Believer4 t1_j6l8bqp wrote

Sounds like the beginning of a Doofenshmirtz backstory

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AuthorSarge t1_j6kntc2 wrote

Back when I was waiting tables, I once had a numerologist convert my name to its numerical values and then further reduce it to the number 2.

"This shows duality. You're split. You won't ever be whole until you stop being a 2."

"You want me to change my name?"

The tip was rather small that time.

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passing_by362 t1_j6m8fy6 wrote

That was your opportunity to change your name to Sephiroth.

"A numerologist told me to do it!"

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Armeanu91 t1_j6n1kxm wrote

You also need to change your birthday. Easy enough I say.

1

ory1994 t1_j6ke5kf wrote

A joke from Jimmy Carr:

“There’s a name for people who believe in the horoscope. They’re called single women.”

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mysterio-man19 t1_j6kz1gf wrote

Astrology mfs be like "Sorry for killing you 9000 times, I'm a herbivore"

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tossawaynsfw9 t1_j6l5i1r wrote

These people are annoying as fuck

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ChrisARippel t1_j6lkfjj wrote

One boss asked me my sign. When I said Virgo. He said ok because you will be neat. Your predecessor was not and this upset his staff. I nearly laughed because I am not.

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Working_Mastodon2619 t1_j6ltu7f wrote

You left out the "Oh that makes sense!" When you tell them your sign.

Which begs the question "If it makes so much sense, why wasn't it one of your first 8 guesses?"

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SomePi5 t1_j6l0cim wrote

Position of the stars have nothing to do with your personality.

Even if you sarcastically corrected someone that guessed your horoscope, they’ll still agree with you 🤣

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marshalzukov t1_j6lea19 wrote

And then, if they're especially scummy, they try to sell you something

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Sqkwuatche t1_j6kb95z wrote

Pleasw Stay away from women like this.

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Saif_Horny_And_Mad t1_j6kk8pt wrote

being a weirdo with a completly random behaviour and personality is the only thing i like about myself, because it confuses and scares astrology shit believers

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Mr_Blu_Sq t1_j6lngza wrote

Im a Cancer,...we dont believe in astrology.

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Clussy_Enjoyer t1_j6m02a5 wrote

Name one thing young girls are allowed to be interested in without being made fun of

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realgoldxd t1_j6ldg3r wrote

And then they say “oh it must be a different day cycle”

2

Meocross t1_j6ljyxk wrote

I keep forgetting my Gemini sign until it is brought up on why i like vanity and jewelry so much.

2

bananonymos t1_j6ll76t wrote

Bruh what about the houses

2

obscureferences t1_j6lsi7n wrote

Redditors love to bash astrology, as if they wouldn't be so happy a chick is even talking to them they'd try and remember everything they can about it.

2

jayellkay84 t1_j6m1nyx wrote

Strangely just tonight I had a coworker correctly guess both my co-manager and my sign. But she also just started and can’t know us well. Probably just very lucky guesses. Probably.

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eigi_einhver t1_j6m5c4q wrote

dude i hate that, if you didnt guess the first time you dont know what your talkin about, read a book lol

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syskeyx t1_j6mh0oa wrote

Some astrology girl had a fight with me about that topic she said if it isn't real then why does the moon have influence on the sealevel. I was speechless..

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Karpaltunnel83 t1_j6mkpkd wrote

According to astrology, I am: Extroverted, Energetic, and confident yet stubborn.... except that I am none of these

2

AgoraSoul t1_j6p3psr wrote

"I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical" Arthur C. Clarke

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Bromjunaar_20 t1_j6l0bu2 wrote

Like, I'm not defined by what newsletters say about my birth month. I'm defined by having an actual conversation with me and actually getting to know me.

1

SealToothNecklace t1_j6lrqqr wrote

Is there a sub for this sped up style of meme? I really like it but don't see it often

1

Wizards_Reddit t1_j6ls8wo wrote

I don’t believe in it but I do enjoy it a little

1

Empty_Supermarket_30 t1_j6lwjl0 wrote

Yeah but when I get it right first try it's impressive and when I don't it's funny, so what is the argument for not doing it? (without the part of explaining the person's personality)

1

GoodChristianMother t1_j6lz7tp wrote

When asked, Iie twice about my sign, then they go on their stupid fuck shpiel about how Capricorn aren't compatible with nicodemi or some shit

1

Southern-Wafer-6375 t1_j6m49fc wrote

Like isn’t that like just the thing with a lot of religions ?

1

LocustSwarm36 t1_j6mvfa1 wrote

A friend did my reading or whatever, and I’m apparently the equivalent of a demon. So that’s cool. Who wants to join my astrology demon club?

1

Independent_Drink_86 t1_j6nl3j4 wrote

Horoscope: You regret something you did in the past

Astrologists:<:O

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Cbjmac t1_j6nx0o9 wrote

I prefer to judge people based on their controllable personalities, rather than the month they were born, which they have no control over

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DeviousDeevo t1_j6o9f6v wrote

Thats pop.astrology Bs. Not legit ones . Pls feed me ur downvotes , I'm hungry

1

Alien_X10 t1_j6mrawc wrote

I'm pretty sure mine was a Leo, idk what that means but I'm just assuming my personality doesn't match it.

Either due to a super inaccurate description or maybe I'm just unconfirmed to be bipolar

0

ux3l t1_j6jqmv0 wrote

Just play along if you want her

−11

thelifeofsuat t1_j6khsle wrote

U are girl hungry if you need to pretend to be someone else, right?

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Korblox101 t1_j6jsrci wrote

I’m not into astrology, but my sign is surprisingly accurate, so I do give it the slightest ounce of credit.

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TheOneOfWhomIsGreen t1_j6k2zhx wrote

They so general that people tend to think about it until it makes sense to them.

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Korblox101 t1_j6kd9dh wrote

Honestly, that sounds exactly like my thought process when I learned what my sign meant, so that certainly lowered my belief in it (not that it was even that high to begin with, to be honest).

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